Love Potion 9
by Bisouretro
Summary: Kitty decides to stir up a batch of Love Potion #9. It might have worked out harmlessly, but an important ingredient is missing. When the potion manages to affect the entire school, Kitty learns a wild lesson about potions and spells! NEW CHAPTERS ADDED!!
1. Fire Burn & Cauldron Bubble

_{{Own the characters? No. Own the story? Yes. Love reviews? Most definitely. Approve of plagarism? Most definitely not. Proceed accordingly. And please enjoy.}}_  
  
_**Love Potion # 9**_  
_**CHAPTER ONE: FIRE BURN & CAULDRON BUBBLE**_

  
  
"Hold it right there, child."  
  
Kitty stopped dead in her tracks, cringing. "Oh, hey!" she chirped without turning around. Her voice was much too bright to be natural. "Ororo! I didn't, like, know you were in here." She grinned nervously. "What a, like, pleasant surprise."  
  
"Today is my turn to make lunch." Suspicious, the white-haired woman stepped closer. "What exactly are you doing in the kitchen? It's off-limits, you know. You shouldn't be here. Unless, of course, you happen to have dishwashing duty."  
  
"No," Kitty said hastily. "That was, like, last week." She edged closer to the door. She seemed to be hiding something underneath her shirt, making the pink fabric bulge oddly. "I was just in here to get a - to get a glass of water."  
  
"I don't see you holding a glass."  
  
"Uh - I, like, put in the sink." Kitty crossed her fingers, out of sight of Ororo. "I washed it and everything."  
  
"I don't see a glass in the sink, either." Ororo planted her hands on her hips. "Child, are you _lying_ to me?"  
  
"No," said Kitty quickly. She paused. "Well. Not _really_."  
  
Ororo cocked an eyebrow. "I see."  
  
Kitty hung her head.  
  
It was a warm morning in early September. School had just started back up again, a fact which was greeted with varying excitement and disgust, depending on the student. At the Xavier Institute, everything was moving like clockwork. For the first time in months, everything was peaceful and relaxed; nothing was out of the ordinary. Nothing, except for _this_. Ororo stepped closer. "Kitty, turn around."  
  
Kitty winced. "I - I, like, can't."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"I just - I just can't." Kitty gave a gusty sigh of frustration. "Listen, Ororo, I'm not doing anything wrong! I, like, _promise_! Scott wants me in the Danger Room in ten minutes and I have to write a letter to one of my friends back home. Plus, I have loads of homework. Can't I, like, go? _Please_?"  
  
"Not until you show me what you're hiding." Her voice was firm. "Turn around."  
  
Kitty sighed again, this time resignedly. Slowly, awkwardly, she began to turn around, clutching her bulging stomach with both hands. "This is, like, totally unfair."  
  
"I have my own opinion on that." Ororo peered at the girl's bulky sweater, eyes wide in amazement. "What do you have under there? The entire refrigerator?"  
  
"Ha, ha." Kitty rolled her eyes. "OK, can I, like, go now?"  
  
"Certainly not. Show me what you're hiding."  
  
"Ororo!"  
  
"_Now_."  
  
Realizing that it was useless to argue, Kitty waddled her way to the counter. Grumbling and scowling, she reached a hand up her shirt. She paused for one last desperate effort. Her face grew imploring. "Please let me leave?" she pleaded, batting her eyelashes. "Pretty please with sugar on top?"  
  
Ororo was unmoved. "That may work with Kurt, but not with me. Now show me what you're hiding before I have to call the professor."  
  
Kitty glowered. "Fine!" Quickly and angrily, she emptied the contents of her sweater onto the counter. Seeds rolled every which way while a large bottle nearly toppled over the edge. Kitty caught it just in time. "There," she said sullenly. "It's just, like, food, OK? I was hungry. I'm, like, sorry. Can I go?"  
  
"Wait one moment." Bewildered, Ororo began picking through the objects on the counter. She read the label on the bottle. "Sweet red wine?" She looked up at Kitty, slightly shocked. "Kitty, you're a bit _young_ to be drinking this early in the morning."  
  
Kitty shrugged.  
  
Ororo continued to study the food. "Basil leaves - cloves - apple seeds - vanilla extract - strawberry juice - apple juice - ginseng root - and what are these?" She held a tiny packet up to the window. "Rose petals? Where did you find rose petals in the kitchen?"  
  
"I didn't. I found them in, like, the garden."  
  
Ororo narrowed her eyes. "Seems like a strange snack to me."  
  
Kitty carefully avoided her gaze.  
  
"Most students would have smuggled peanut butter and crackers, not basil leaves." Ororo tapped her chin thoughtfully. "There's something very fishy about all this."  
  
"What time is it?"  
  
"Why do you need to know?"  
  
"Just tell me." Kitty seemed suddenly anxious. "Please."  
  
Ororo looked at her wristwatch. "A quarter past eight."  
  
"A quarter past eight! Like, this is _horrible_!" Kitty's face grew tragic. "Oh, Ororo, you _have_ to let me go. Please! I'm, like, begging you. It's really important! Like, I'll do anything you want, just let me leave!"  
  
"What's important? Kitty, it's a Sunday! No school!"  
  
"It's _so_ important, Ororo. I'm, like, totally desperate. I _have_ to go, I _have_ to. You got to, like, understand me." She clasped her hands, almost crying. "Please! _Please_!"  
  
Ororo was baffled and a little suspicious. "Kitty, I can't. Not until you explain-"  
  
The door burst open.  
  
Both looked over, startled.  
  
It was Scott. He seemed harried. "Ororo," he gasped, "there's - trouble. In the Danger Room. Evan - got - hurt. You'd better come - quickly."  
  
"Oh, good lord!" Ororo dashed across the floor. At the door, she paused, giving Kitty a stern look. "I'm warning you, child; if I come back and you're not here there will mean a great deal of trouble!" Then she was gone, trailing on Scott's heels.  
  
Kitty waited until her footsteps had faded into silence. With a quick furtive glance around the kitchen, she gathered the ingredients back under her shirt. "Sorry, Ororo," she muttered, "but I, like, have to do this." Then, glancing around to make sure nobody was watching, she scurried out of the kitchen and up the stairs to the room she shared with Rogue.  
  
"_Kitty_!" Rogue's enraged voice began the moment Kitty stepped over the threshold. "What the hell are these things doing in here? Ah almost burned the curtains down! Have you gone crazy again?"  
  
Kitty slammed the door, scrambled with the lock, and then leaned limply against the door, breathing hard. "No."  
  
"Then what are they?"  
  
"Candles."  
  
Rogue rolled her eyes disgustedly. "Ah _know_ that. Ah meant, what are they here _for_? They're horrible. They make the room smell like a French brothel."  
  
Kitty surveyed the little circle of pink votive candles with a proud smile. "They _are_ pretty, like, overpowering, aren't they?"  
  
Rogue, sitting on her bed with a stack of textbooks, gave Kitty a threatening glare. She was obviously at the end of her rope. "If you don't tell me what's going on right _now_, Ah swear Ah'm going to take your favorite sweater and tear all the buttons off." She caught sight of Kitty's bulging shirtfront and her jaw drooped open. She shook her head slowly. "That's it. Ah need a new roommate."  
  
"Like, Rogue, totally chill, OK?" Kitty made her way to the bed and began removing the food from underneath her shirt. "I swear, I'm not doing anything, like, dangerous. Relax."  
  
"What's that? Wine?" Suspicious and incredulous, Rogue sidestepped the ring of candles and came to survey the goods. "Leaves? Flowers? Seeds? What, have you gone New Age on us?"  
  
"_You're_ the one who believes in hardcore witchcraft," Kitty said calmly, spreading her ingredients evenly over the bed. "I'm just, like, casting one harmless little spell."  
  
"Ah should have guessed." Rogue started for the door. "Call me when it's over, OK? Ah don't want to be turned into a frog."  
  
"Rogue!" Kitty grabbed the edge of her shirt. "Like, hold on a moment! I'm not turning anybody into a frog. Don't, like, worry about it." She smiled innocently. "Anyhow, I sort of need your help."  
  
Rogue wrenched free from her grasp and looked at her distrustfully. "What spell is it?"  
  
"Come on. Just, like, promise you'll help. You owe me one. Remember how I, like, showed you the answers to that calculus test?"  
  
"Ah'm not promising anything until Ah know what spell you're casting."  
  
Kitty sighed resignedly. "Well, it's not really, like, a _spell_. I mean, it is, but it's more like a - like a recipe. A recipe for a potion."  
  
"What sort of potion?"  
  
"A love potion," Kitty admitted reluctantly.  
  
Rogue instantly headed for the door. "That's it. Ah'm out of here."  
  
"No, no, no, no!" Kitty ran ahead desperately and blocked her exit. "Listen, Rogue, I, like, totally need your help, OK? I can't do it without you. It won't affect you at all, I _promise_. I'll, like, only use it on one person and that's it. You won't even have to _look_ at it if you don't want to." She widened her eyes imploringly. "Please?"  
  
"Ah hate love potions," Rogue snapped, trying to push past.  
  
Kitty outmanuevered her. "Of course, I could always, like, tell the principal that you had _help_ with that test," she suggested slyly. "That might really hurt your chances of, like, getting out of phys ed this year."   
  
"You wouldn't." Rogue narrowed her eyes. "You wouldn't dare."  
  
"I'm a desperate girl, Rogue. Just, like, promise me you'll help." She glanced nervously at the clock. "And hurry! It's like, five till nine. We hardly have any time."  
  
Rogue relented with a scowl. "Fine. But only because you blackmailed me! Ah'm not doing this because Ah like you! Remember that."  
  
"Thanks, Rogue," Kitty said, smiling with relief. "You're, like, a total savior. All right," she added, voice growing business-like. "Let's get busy. We have to have everything ready at, like, nine o'clock precisely."  
  
"Why?" Rogue asked, following her as she gathered up all the ingredients.  
  
"'Cause this is Love Potion #9," Kitty said, as if it should be obvious. "Ninth hour of the ninth day of the ninth month. September the Ninth at nine o'clock AM. That's in four minutes. Nine votive candles, nine apple seeds, nine, like, _everything_." She gestured towards the closet. "Could you, like, get the cauldron and the wooden spoon?"  
  
Rogue obeyed. "Where the hell did you get the cauldron?" she asked, amazed. It was small and heavy and ancient. "A museum?"  
  
"You'd be surprised what you can find in the basement. Just set it down in the center of the votive candles, OK?" Kitty opened the bottle of wine. "Now. I have to dump all this, like, stuff in, and then stir it nine times. You can chant the incantation."  
  
"Why me?"  
  
"Because you want to skip phys ed this year."  
  
Rogue rolled her eyes.  
  
"Nine ounces of wine, nine basil leaves, nine rose petals, nine cloves, nine drops of vanilla, nine drops of apple juice, nine drops of strawberry juice, nine bits of gingseng root, and like-" Kitty suddenly stopped, her brow furrowed. "Oh, no!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Only eight apple seeds. I must have, like, lost one." Kitty bit her lower lip anxiously. "I wonder if it will still, like, work, with one apple seed missing?"  
  
"Probably not."  
  
"But there's no time to get another one."  
  
Rogue shrugged.  
  
Kitty gazed at the clock, then back at the cauldron and its odd mixture. She made a quick decision. "Well, I'll just have to, like, hope for the best," she said firmly, tossing the seeds inside and picking up the wooden spoon. "I can't wait till next year to try again. This is, like, my only chance." She looked at Rogue. "Ready?"  
  
"No."  
  
"You, like, _have_ to be. You promised to help. Just read the words I wrote here." She handed Rogue a slip of paper. "Almost time."  
  
"This is ridiculous," Rogue muttered, scanning the paper. "Insane."  
  
"One minute -"  
  
"Ah can't believe Ah'm doing this."  
  
The clock struck nine. "Now!" Kitty began stirring vigorously. "Read, Rogue! Like, now!"  
  
Rogue cleared her throat. Self-consciously, she recited: "LET THE ONE WHO DRINKS THIS WINE, SHOWER ME WITH LOVE DIVINE. SWEET LOVE POTION NUMBER NINE, MAKE HIS LOVE FOREVER MINE." A strong breeze ruffled the curtains. Kitty stopped stirring. "There. Ah did it." Rogue dropped the paper onto the floor. "Now Ah'm outta here. Hasta la vista, you crazy little weirdo."  
  
"Wait! You, like, still have to help me boil it." Kitty covered the cauldron with a cloth. "Then we strain it through a cheesecloth and bless it in the names of, like, the nine love-goddesses. And then-" She grinned. "We chill and serve!"  
  
"To who?"  
  
"That's for me to know and you to, like, find out," Kitty said, blushing a little. She hastily changed the subject. "Anyhow, come on. We don't have much time before Ororo gets back to the kitchen. And, like, I have a _lot_ of explaining to do to her; I don't want to run into her any sooner than I have to."  
  
The two girls, holding the cauldron between them, made their way furtively into the hallway.  
  
Neither of them noticed the ninth apple seed lying on the bed. 


	2. Tomato Soup

_{{Own the characters? No. Own the story? Yes. Love reviews? Most definitely. Approve of plagarism? Most definitely not. Proceed accordingly. And please enjoy.}}_  
  
_**CHAPTER TWO: TOMATO SOUP**_

  
  
"Rogue?"  
  
"Hmm?" It was late at night, and Rogue was exhausted. "What is it?" She had spent all afternoon helping Kitty boil the potion, which had bubbled and thickened and eventually wound up looking like sour milk and smelling like potpourri. Then had come the task of bottling it up in a clean container; 'clean' meaning that Rogue had spent fifteen minutes scrubbing the container with antibacterial soap while Kitty looked on critically. Finally, the concoction had been stored in the very back of the refrigerator, where nobody ever looked unless they were in the mood for moldy leftovers. "What is it, Kitty? Ah'm tired."  
  
"Do you think that potion will, like, _work_?"  
  
Rogue groaned and turned over in her bed. "It had better. Ah've worked my ass off for that stuff."  
  
"Thanks for the help, by the way."  
  
"No problem. Ah love wasting my time." Rogue stifled a yawn. "Now be quiet, Kitty. Ah want to get some rest tonight."  
  
There was a moment of silence.  
  
"Rogue?"  
  
"What?" Rogue asked impatiently. "Ah thought Ah told you to let me get mah sleep!"  
  
"Like, chill out. Just one more question."  
  
Rogue grunted.  
  
"Do you think anyone will, like, find it?"  
  
"Back there? Not unless they're mad." Rogue pulled her pillow over head. "Good night," she said, muffled. "And _don't_ wake me up."  
  
"Good night," Kitty whispered.  
  


* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

  
  
"Hey, Pretty-Kitty."  
  
Kitty looked up from her sandwich. She smiled brilliantly, instinctively reaching up a hand to stroke a stray stand of hair behind her ear. "Lance! Hey! Like, what have you been up to lately?"  
  
Across the table, Kurt and Rogue both watched the exchange: Kurt anxious, Rogue bored.  
  
"Oh, this and that. You know how it is." Lance gave a charming grin. "Mind if I sit down? We have a lot to catch up on."  
  
"Sure." Kitty slid over to make room, glad she was wearing her new hoop earrings. "I've, like, missed you in history class."  
  
"A guy like me has more important things to worry about than Benjiman Franklin being the first president," Lance said nonchalantly. He took a bit of his apple. "Like I said, I've been busy."  
  
"George Washington," came a cold voice.  
  
Lance looked over in mild annoyance. "What's that?" He saw who was talking. His face relaxed into a sneer. "Oh, the fuzzy little blueberry. You're still hanging out with _him_? What a total waste of time, Pretty-Kitty."  
  
Kitty frowned.  
  
"George Washington was the first president, not _Bejiman Franklin_," Kurt said, unfazed. His eyes were hard as marbles. "You might want to start coming to school more often, unless you want to be a moron all your life."  
  
"Yeah, well." Lance said, voice equally cold. "Some people have better things to do with their lives than listen to teachers and tag around where they aren't wanted."  
  
Kitty nudged him sharply. "Lance, stop. Like, just cool it, OK?"  
  
"Anything for you, Kitty-Cat."  
  
Kurt returned darkly to his lunch.  
  
There was a brief, awkward silence.  
  
"So," Kitty said, a little too cheerfully. "What _have_ you, like, been up to?"  
  
"I'm not sure I can trust you enough to tell you, Pretty-Kitty," Lance said, flipping her hair flirtatiously. "You might just tattle on me."  
  
"Like, no way." Kitty unscrewed the cap to her thermos. "I wouldn't do that." She took a long drink. Her face changed slightly. "I - don't think so - anyway -" She burped. "That's good."  
  
Rogue, curious, lifted her own thermos to her lips and took a sip. After a second Kurt followed suit.  
  
"What do you have there?" Lance asked, interest piqued. "Are you Xavier kids starting to dip your toes into the world of fine liquor? Good for you. It's about time." He reached for Kitty's thermos. "Let me have a taste before the lunchroom lady sees us, Pretty-Kitty. What brand is it?"  
  
"It's not vodka; it's, like, tomato soup." Kitty still looked somewhat dazed. "Jean made it this morning."  
  
Rogue wiped her mouth with her napkin. "That's a hell of a lot better than anything Jean's ever made before."  
  
"Ja, no kidding." Kurt took another hungry gulp, anger forgotten. "You know something? This is really delicious!"  
  
"You can say that again," Rogue agreed. "Jean should cook more often."  
  
"I never thought I'd, like, hear those words coming from your mouth." Kitty spotted Scott and Evan across the cafeteria. She waved them over. "You two! Have you tasted this soup yet? It's, like, totally great!"  
  
Lance handed Kitty her thermos back. "Damn. That _is_ tasty, Pretty-Kitty. I'll have to get the recipe."  
  
Kitty ignored him. She was busy drinking more out of the thermos.  
  
Scott and Evan slid in to the empty seats. "Have we tasted _what_?" Evan asked. "The soup?"  
  
"I haven't," Scott said. "Even though Jean made it."  
  
"Actually, Jean making it is the reason I _wasn't_ trying it," said Evan, winking at Rogue and Kurt. He pulled the cap off his thermos and paused, suspicious. "This is a joke, isn't it? I refuse to believe that girl can make anything edible."  
  
"Hey, watch it," Scott said warningly. He took a sip from his thermos. His expression changed from dutiful to pleasantly surprised. "It _is_ good."  
  
"What did I, like, tell you?"  
  
"That's amazing," Evan said, after he had tasted it too. They were beginning to cause a slight stir in the lunchroom. Students were craning their necks to see what was going on. Evan took another swig. "Can Jean start cooking dinner instead of Auntie O? This is the best stuff that's ever come out of that kitchen."  
  
"You know what it tastes like?" Lance asked, seeming to be unaware that he was sitting at a table surrounded by Xavier students. "It tastes just like wine."  
  
"Wine?" Kitty repeated, and she grew suddenly pale. "Wine?"  
  
Across the table, Rogue spit her soup back into her napkin with a horrified expression.  
  
"Whoa, what's wrong?" Lance asked. "Haven't you kids ever tasted alcohol before?"  
  
Kitty and Rogue didn't bother to answer. To the complete bewilderment of their friends, they looked as though they'd just been struck with lightning. Kitty pushed her thermos away as if it might bite. "Like, this is awful," she said, her voice quavery. "This is, like - this is - this is _awful._ Just awful."  
  
"Kitty, what's wrong?" Kurt asked, as baffled as everyone else.  
  
"Rogue?" Scott asked. "Want to share with the rest of us?"  
  
Rogue looked physically sick. She shook her head mutely.  
  
"Where's Jean?" Kitty demanded tensely. "I, like, have to talk to her. It's totally urgent."  
  
"She's in the restroom," Scott said, frowning. "What's the matter? Can't you tell us?"  
  
Kitty ignored him. "Rogue, come on." The two girls rose to their feet, still looking pale and frantic, and dashed across the cafeteria towards the hallway, narrowly missing a group of cheerleaders. Several older students shouted at them, annoyed, and the lunchroom monitor gave them a dark look. Evan, Scott, Lance, and Kurt watched in amazement as the girls vanished out the door. There was a long silence. Then Evan shook his head. "Women."  
  
"This is hardly a joking matter, mein freund," Kurt said, anxiously. "Something has upset them. Very badly, by the looks of it."  
  
"Whatever it is, it has to do with the soup," Scott added.   
  
"All right, that's it! I'm not touching this stuff!" Evan copied Kitty and pushed his thermos away. "I _knew_ it was a bad idea to try anything made by Jean. That's the last time I risk my life on her cooking." He dodged Scott's half-hearted swipe. "Hey, watch it!"  
  
"Jean is a good cook."  
  
"Maybe it was accidentally poisoned," Kurt suggested nervously.  
  
"Don't even _say_ that."  
  
"Why not? It's possible, nein?"  
  
"Listen, Kurt, Jean wouldn't put poision in the soup."  
  
"I said _accidentally_, Scott. Settle down."  
  
"You know what I think? I think those girls just went crazy. There's no other reason for getting afraid of tomato soup."  
  
"You're probably right."  
  
"Nein, I don't think so. Rogue isn't the sort to go crazy."  
  
"Kitty might."  
  
"Yeah, but over _soup_?"  
  
While they talked, Lance rose silently from the table and disappeared into the hallway.  
  


* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

  
  
Jean leaned towards the mirror and quickly guided the mascara wand through the lashes on her right eye. The restroom was deserted; everyone else was either off eating lunch or making out. Both, in some cases. Jean had the entire place to herself. Spread out on the sink around her were the contents of her purse: brown eyeshadow, a tube of lipstick, crimson blusher, an eyebrow pencil. Jean put the masacra wand back on the sink and glanced around feverishly. "What's next?" she muttered. "Lipstick? Blusher?" She stared at herself critically under the bright restroom lights. "No, that will make me look too washed-out. Dammit! Why don't I have any concealer?" She rifled through her purse.  
  
The restroom door burst open.  
  
Jean didn't even bother to look up. She had just discovered a small tube in her coin pocket. "Aha! _Pink_ lipstick! That will look much better than red." She began smearing it frantically across her lips. "Perfect!"  
  
"Jean?" The voice was hesitant. "Are you, like - OK?"  
  
Jean whirled around, grinning brightly. Rogue and Kitty gazed at her, mouths slightly agape. "Kitty! Marie! What a surprise!" Jean tossed her hair over her shoulder. "What do you think? Do I look sexy?" She struck a supermodel pose. "You may as well tell me I do, girls, because I know it already."  
  
"Um -" Kitty said, at a complete loss for words. "You look, like - _different_."  
  
Rogue made a strangled noise deep in her throat.  
  
Jean had changed from the last time they'd seen her - that morning, to be exact. Her hair, instead of lying loose around her shoulders, had been pulled back into a flashy bun. Her face was coated with cosmetics. Her eyelashes were brittle and clumped, her eyebrows were drawn on like two fat crescent moons, and her cheeks were brilliantly scarlet. The first four buttons of her blouse had been undone, showing a peek of lacy bra. She looked like a cheap hooker in a bad movie. "Aren't I wonderful?" she asked, turning back to the mirror. "Now scram, girls. I have a lot of work to do. Oh, and would either of you happen to have foundation cream?"  
  
They ignored her. "Jean, what's, like, _wrong_ with you?" Kitty asked, dazed. "Why are you - I mean - like, what's the point of dressing up like that?"  
  
"I'll tell you why I'm trying to look my best," Jean said, coating her mouth with lipstick. "It's because I - well - I fell in love." She giggled. She may have blushed, too, but it was hard to tell when her cheeks were already the color of a fire engine. "For the first time in my life, I'm wildly in love."  
  
The two girls groaned in unison.  
  
"Oh, shit," Rogue muttered. "Oh, this is awful." She buried her face in her hands.  
  
"Jean," said Kitty, pale but determined to hear the worst, "what did you put in the tomato soup?"  
  
"That wonderful soup I made this morning?" She gazed at the ceiling with a dreamy look. "I wonder if _he_ would like a bowl of it? We could sip it together in a little cottage by the sea, and when we were done we could-"  
  
"Jean!" Kitty interuppted loudly. "What did you put in the soup?"  
  
"I don't know. It was condensed soup. Do you think I know enough to cook from scratch?" She laughed a high, shrill, falsetto giggle and paused, frowning. "Does that laugh sound sexy to you girls? I've been working on it _so_ hard. Here, let me try again-"  
  
Rogue cringed.  
  
"Did you have to put water in? Or milk?" Kitty yelled desperately over the noise. "Jean, stop laughing and, like, answer!"  
  
"Well, I think it may have been - milk. Yes, that's right! I know Scott likes it creamy so I put in milk instead of water. And then I ran out of the regular milk, so I searched around in the back of the fridge and found this little spare bottle. It looked sour, but it smelled fine, so I put it right in."  
  
"A-all of it?"  
  
"Of course." She did a pirouette in the mirror. "And I even tasted it before I put it in the lunch boxes. In fact, it was so good I had a whole bowl. No more of that from now on, though. I need to diet!"  
  
"Jean, like, you put a _love potion_ in that soup," Kitty said bleakly. "A _powerful love potion._" A horrible thought occured to her. "What about the people at the Insititute? Like, Ororo and Logan? Will they eat the soup?"  
  
Rogue looked up anxiously.  
  
"Of course," Jean said airily. "It's on the course for lunch. By the way, girls, does this dress make me look fat?"  
  
Kitty and Rogue didn't bother to answer. They both looked on the verge of tears. "The whole school," Kitty moaned. "Like, the entire school. They've _all_ eaten the soup by now. And I have, like, no idea how long it takes to wear off. Maybe never."  
  
"Never?" Rogue was white with depair. "But _Ah_ drank it. Ah don't want to be in love with some bimbo for the rest of mah life."  
  
"Neither do I," Kitty sighed. "It, like, seems to take about an hour to start working. It must have just hit Jean. It will hit the rest of us in like forty-five minutes."  
  
Jean started singing a pop song offkey.   
  
"Shut up!" Rogue yelled. She turned back to Kitty. "Isn't there any way to reverse it?"  
  
"Not that I, like, know of."  
  
"You could have researched a little better," Rogue hissed, thoroughly annoyed. "One of the first rules of casting spells is to always know how to fix it if it goes wrong! And this is about as wrong as Ah've ever seen a spell go." She paused. "And it's gonna get even worse."  
  
"Gee, sorry," Kitty said defensively. "How was I, like, supposed to know that Jean would put it in the soup? It was supposed to just go to one person."  
  
"Who?"  
  
Kitty flushed. "I, like - I - I -"  
  
"_Who_?!"  
  
Kitty hung her head resignedly. "It was, like -"  
  
"Kurt," Jean sang suddenly. The two girls stared in amazement. "Kurt, Kurt, Kurt." She smiled at them. "Doesn't he have the most beautiful name? Just like the rest of him."  
  
Kitty shook her head slowly, disbelieving. "Oh, no. It, like, can't be. It can't."  
  
"But it is!" Jean trilled. "I've fallen in love with the most wonderful boy alive! A prince among men, a god among his peers! He's mine forever now. He'll always be my one true love." She sighed dreamily. "Dear, darling Kurt."  
  
Kitty burst into tears. 


	3. A Complicated Cure

_{{Own the characters? No. Own the story? Yes. Love reviews? Most definitely. Approve of plagarism? Most definitely not. Proceed accordingly. And please enjoy.}}_  
  
_**CHAPTER THREE: A COMPLICATED CURE**_

  
  
"So it _was_ Kurt, then?"  
  
"Hurry up!" Kitty shoved Rogue into their room, slammed the door, and frantically fumbled with the lock. "We, like, totally have to hurry! By my calculations, the potion should, like, take affect in ten minutes. Or less!" She ran to the window and pulled down all the blinds, shrouding the room in sudden darkness. "Like, don't just stand there, Rogue! Do something!"  
  
"What? Barricade the door with the dresser?" Rogue asked dryly.  
  
"It couldn't hurt." Kitty stepped back and surveyed her work anxiously. "OK. Like, everything's all locked up. Nobody could get in without a battering ram."  
  
"Well, you know how Scott is-"  
  
"Like, stop being so sarcastic, Rogue! This is a serious situation! I know _I_, like, don't want to go falling in love with somebody stupid for the rest of my life. It seems like _you_ would agree with me."  
  
"Ah do." Rogue sat down on the edge of her bed. "Ah just don't think locking ourselves up in this room is going to help."  
  
"Hey. If we can't see any guys, we can't fall in love, right? Like, that's the way it seems to work. Anyhow, since when you are the queen of social interaction? You, like, totally love privacy. Most mornings I can't even get you out of the bathroom." Kitty switched on a lamp. "You should, like, love this. Think of it as a vacation."  
  
"Being locked in a room with _you_ is hardly my idea of a vacation."  
  
Kitty flushed. "Well, like, excuse me for _breathing_!"  
  
"If you stop now, maybe Ah'll forgive you." Rogue sighed suddenly. "Listen, Kitty, this won't work. How are we gonna eat? How are we gonna go to school? We can't stay here for the rest of our lives."  
  
"We won't. Just long enough for me to, like, figure something out."  
  
"And how will you do that?"  
  
"I'll, like, study the spellbook. There must be a way to reverse the potion. Or at least, like, make it wear off more quickly."  
  
"Some spells don't have a cure."  
  
"Like, don't even say that!" Kitty grew slightly wild-eyed. "It _has_ to be fixed, it _has_ to! I'll, like, totally kill myself if it isn't!"  
  
Rogue muttered something under her breath.  
  
"And would you, like, stop being so nasty?!" Kitty yelled, losing all her patience. "You're turning into a total bitch, Rogue! Like, just cool it, OK?"  
  
Rogue jumped angrily to her feet. "Look who's talking! You're the ditz who made the goddamn potion!"  
  
"That, like, has nothing to do with it!"  
  
"Are you crazy? It has _everything_ to do with it! The entire Insitute is going mad with lust just because _you_ couldn't make Kurt like you without casting a spell, and- _hey_!" Rogue dodged Kitty's fist and fell onto her bed, knocked off balance. "Stop it!"  
  
"It wasn't Kurt!" Kitty hissed.  
  
"Then who was it?"  
  
There was a very tense silence. The two girls glared at each other, eyes burning. Both their faces were flushed and sweaty. After a moment, however, their anger began to ebb away. Kitty hung her head, ashamed. "Like, I'm sorry I'm slapped at you."  
  
"It was pretty childish, even for you," Rogue retorted, but her voice lacked its usual anger. A second later she sighed softly. "It's OK. Whatever."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
They stared at each other uncertainly.  
  
"What are we gonna do?" Rogue asked, sounding helpless for the first time since Kitty had known her. "We have to figure _something_ out. Ah refuse to spend the rest of mah life hiding in mah own room."  
  
"I'll, like, look in the spellbook." Kitty, face determined, headed for her dresser. "It _must_ have a remedy." She opened the top drawer and pulled out a large, dusty-looking volume. "And once we find it, then we just mix up the ingredients, and, like, take it. Easy as, like, one-two-three."  
  
"But _everyone_ drank the potion," Rogue observed. "It was in the soup."  
  
"Then we'll, like, feed the cure to _everyone_."  
  
"That might be hard."  
  
"I'm, like, trying my best." Kitty scanned through the pages. "Kismet . . . laziness . . . lice . . . " She made a face. "Lips . . . llamas . . . like, _here_ it is! Love potion #9!" Rogue came to peer anxiously over her shoulder as Kitty began to read aloud: "'Love Potion #9 is especially potent, causing such strong and longlasting effects that it often goes beyond the normal potion to actually alter the personality of the individual in question.'"  
  
"That would explain Jean."  
  
"Don't even, like, _mention_ her."  
  
"Sorry." The girls had left the restroom right after Kitty started crying, and it had been Rogue's idea to get back to the Institute to think things over. Kitty, still hysterical, had taken it a step further by deciding to lock themselves in their room until the coast was clear. "Go on reading."  
  
Kitty cleared her throat. "'Love Potion #9 is also a very sensitive potion, and if even _one_ ingredient is left out or _one_ step is not followed, it could change the effects of the potion with disastrous results.'" She looked up, stricken. "Oh, no! I, like, left out one of the appleseeds!"  
  
"Ah told you not to."  
  
"This is, like, awful." Kitty continued reading, a little frantically this time. "'The effects of the potion can take up to six months to wear off, longer if an ingredient is missing. There is much debate about whether or not Love Potion #9 has a counterpotion, or a cure. Most experts claim the effects are irreversible. However, a minority of witches in modernday Salem insist that there is a highly effective and convenient remedy.'" There was a long pause.  
  
"Well?" Rogue demanded, breathless. "What is the remedy?"  
  
"I - don't think - you want to know -" Kitty said, face white. "It's - like - not very good -"  
  
"Kitty, tell me and tell me _now_!"  
  
Kitty shook her head mutely.  
  
"Kitty-" Rogue snatched for the book. "Ah'm losing my patience!"  
  
"OK, OK!" Hands trembling, Kitty took a deep breath. "'The witches claim that the easiest and only cure for Love Potion #9 is for the attracted individuals to be fed a mixture of white wine and bitter herbs by a third party. After the two have consumed this mixture, their first kiss will break the spell and Love Potion #9 will cease to have an affect."  
  
Rogue considered this. "So if we feed white wine and _bitter herbs_, whatever that is, to the two people who are in love, the first time they kiss the spell will be broken?"  
  
Kitty nodded miserably.  
  
"Well, what's the problem? That's not bad! All we have to do is get them to kiss each other, and they're already in love." Rogue paused. "Oh . . . Ah guess Jean and Kurt will have to kiss, huh?"  
  
Kitty didn't answer.  
  
Rogue seemed almost sympathetic. "But when they kiss, they won't like each other anymore. That's better than them being in love forever, isn't it?"  
  
"I, like, guess so," Kitty agreed, and she seemed to perk up a little. Then a shadow crossed her face and she slumped again. "There's just, like, one problem."  
  
"What?"  
  
"We're locked in our room. How will we, like, get the white wine and bitter herbs?"  
  
"Ah don't even know what bitter herbs _are_."  
  
"I think I do." Kitty frowned. "But, like, seriously, Rogue. This is totally a problem. If we go out there, we'll, like, fall in love with the first guy we see. Then we'll get sidetracked, and, like, this will _never_ get straightened out."  
  
"Ah guess we'll just to fall in love, then, and try to keep our heads straight anyway."  
  
"But-"  
  
"We didn't drink as much of the soup as everyone else. It will probably be less powerful on us."  
  
"Yeah, but-"  
  
"It's our only choice."  
  
"I don't, like, want to." Kitty pouted. "Forget it."  
  
Rogue shrugged. "Fine," she said airily. "Ah guess things will just have to stay this way forever." She paused. "Ah wonder if Kurt and Jean will name their first kid after you?"  
  
Kitty looked as though someone had dashed cold water in her face. "What?"  
  
"Well, if we don't end this soon, who knows where it will end up? Marriage, babies; maybe both." Rogue sauntered to the dresser. "But, like you said, we can't risk it. We'd better just stay locked here and be nice and safe while everyone else-"  
  
"Stop!" Kitty, flushed, stood up. "Don't, like, _dare_ to finish that sentence." She took a deep breath.  
  
Rogue looked at her questioningly.  
  
"I'm, like, ready." Kitty announced. She smoothed her hair and then headed purposefully for the door. "Are you coming, Rogue? We don't have much, like, time."  
  
Rogue smiled to herself. "Coming."  
  


* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

  
  
"The first thing we have to do is figure out who likes who," Rogue whispered, as the two girls snuck down the hallway. So far it was completely deserted, though they had heard some rather suspicious giggling coming from behind locked doors. "That way we can get them together, feed them the mixture, and wait until they kiss. The kiss will be the easy part." She held up a notebook. "Ah brought this along to record the details."  
  
"I've never seen you so, like, organized," Kitty said, amused. "This is, like, bringing out a whole new side of you."  
  
"Yeah, well. Ah'm just trying to straighten out _your_ mess."  
  
Kitty blushed.  
  
They were almost to the kitchen when they heard footsteps and voices, coming towards them from around the corner. "Quick!" Rogue hissed, grabbing Kitty's shirt and yanking her into the nearest broom closet. "Hide!"  
  
They crouched in the shadows, breathing loudly, peering out the crack. After a second two figures came into view. One of them seemed to be chasing the other; both sounded frustrated. Kitty's eyes widened as they came closer. "It's, like, _Scott,_" she whispered. "And _Ororo_? Like, what's going on with them?"  
  
"Three guesses and the first two don't count."  
  
"Oh, no," Kitty moaned.  
  
"Scott, leave me alone!" Ororo yanked her arm out of his grasp. "I told you, you're not my type. And if you keep on with this I'll have to tell the professor."  
  
"But Ororo!" Scott looked different: wild-eyed and frantic. He reached for her again. "I promise, I love you. I've loved you all my life; I'm crazy about you, Ororo. Please don't be this way. I know you're just playing hard to get."  
  
"You're too young!" Ororo shook him off impatiently. "Back off, Scott!"  
  
"I'm not too young," Scott protested. "Our souls are matched in heaven. You may deny it now, but you'll come crying to me later." He tried to kiss her. "Please! Be sensible, sweetheart!"  
  
Ororo slapped him fiercely. "I said, back off! Do you want me to call up a storm and wash you into the next county?" She sped up her pace. "Anyway, you know who I love. Logan is the only man for me. You're nothing _compared_ to him."  
  
Rogue snorted in surprise.  
  
The sound of their angry voices faded gradually away.  
  
Rogue leaned back with a deep sigh. "Well. At least we know that much." She pulled out her pencil and marked something down on the notebook. _Scott loves Ororo. Ororo loves Logan._ She suddenly frowned. "You know, this may be harder than Ah was thinking. Ah thought they'd all in fall in love with someone who would love them back. But Ah'm beginning to think they're all falling in love with people who love _someone else_." She turned an anxious face towards Kitty. "Getting them to take the cure and kiss each other will be harder than Ah thought."  
  
Kitty didn't answer.  
  
"Kitty? Are you OK?" Rogue waved a hand in front of her eyes. Kitty didn't respond; she had a dreamy smile on her lips. "Kitty, this isn't funny. What's going on?"  
  
"Just him."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"You know. Him." Kitty giggled. "_Scott_. Isn't he, like, adorable?"  
  
"Oh, good lord." Rogue slapped her forehead, completely disgusted. "Ah should have known this would happen. Ah guess Ah'm the only useful now, huh? You're going to be nothing but an airhead."  
  
"Isn't he just the most, like, kissable thing you ever saw?"  
  
Rogue winced. "Kitty loves Scott," she said tiredly, and began to write it down in her notepad. Then she paused, looking as though she'd just had a surprising revelation. "Wait a moment!"  
  
"Such, like, beautiful eyes . . . and manly hair . . ."  
  
"We both saw Scott, right? But only you fell in love with him. _Ah_ don't feel anything at all."  
  
"I, like, just have better taste, I guess," Kitty said, staring down the hallway with a glazed look of adoration. "Only I can appreciate his, like, divine perfection."  
  
Rogue ignored her. "So how does it work? Maybe . . . . " She furrowed her brow, thinking hard. "Maybe . . . whoever sees him _first_ falls in love with him . . . and that's why everybody only falls in love with one person." Her eyes lit up. "That's it! Ah figured it out!"  
  
"I wonder if he's, like, free on Friday night?"  
  
"Ah bet he's wondering the same thing about Ororo."  
  
Kitty didn't answer. "Doesn't he, like, have the most lucious smile?"  
  
Rogue stuck her notebook into her pocket and grabbed Kitty by the arm. "Come on, Kitty. We better go get that cure." She dashed out of the closet and down the hall towards the kitchen, ready to duck into a corner at any moment. Kitty tagged behind.  
  
"Cure for, like, what?"  
  
"For this mess you've made."  
  
"Oh."  
  
The kitchen was deserted. A package of bread lay open on the counter beside a can of soup, as though someone had been planning on making lunch and then been distracted. Rogue pushed it aside and headed right for the counter. "OK, Kitty, you gotta help me out a little bit. We need - what? White wine and . . . "  
  
"Scott," Kitty giggled.  
  
Rogue groaned. "You're not going to be any help at all. OK, Ah can do this. Just concentrate." She searched frantically through the shelves. "We have to have a little wine in here somewhere. The professor always keeps it around for holidays and parties . . . " She pushed aside a box of crackers. "Here it is! White wine!" She pulled a bottle down from the cabinet and studied it. "It's sort of cheap, but it will have to do. Now for the bitter herbs."  
  
Kitty was pirouetting around the counter. "Scott, Scott . . . "  
  
"Kitty, what _are_ bitter herbs?"  
  
Kitty did a twirling leap and landed hard on her rear. "Like, ouch!" she whimpered, looking dazed. "That hurt!"  
  
"Never mind, Ah'll look myself." Rogue tucked the wine under her arm. "Ah know what tastes bitter and what doesn't. That should be enough information."  
  
Kitty didn't respond. She was already dancing again.  
  
"Here. Horseradish. That's an herb and that's bitter. Good enough for me." Rogue crammed the canister into her pocket. "Awright, Kitty. That's what the witches said would cure the curse. Bitter herbs and white wine. Ah think Ah just got both of them."  
  
"Scott, Scott, Scott!"  
  
"Oh, _shut up_. You're going to be the first one to take this shit, Ah promise it." Rogue stormed for the door. "Are you coming?"  
  
"I'm, like, totally in love."  
  
"Ah think Ah'm aware of that. But are you coming with me?"  
  
Before anyone could say anything, the kitchen door swung open.  
  
Rogue gasped.  
  
Logan stood in the doorway.  
  



	4. Cupid's Busy Day

_{{Own the characters? No. Own the story? Yes. Love reviews? Most definitely. Approve of plagarism? Most definitely not. Proceed accordingly. And please enjoy.}}_  
  
_**CHAPTER FOUR: CUPID'S BUSY DAY**_

  
  
"Hello, Mr. Logan," Kitty sang cheerfully. "Have you, like, seen Scott around anywhere? Me and him are, like, totally a couple now. Isn't that cool, Mr. Logan?" She did a few clumsy dance steps and crashed into tower of pots and pans. They rolled noisily all over the kitchen floor. "Oops. I, like, did _not_ mean to do that."  
  
Neither Logan or Rogue reacted. They were staring at each other, eyes locked, transfixed. Logan looked as though someone had just handed him the keys to a brandnew sports car. Rogue looked just plain shocked. Her mouth opened and closed silently. She made a squeaking, strangled noise.  
  
Kitty stopped dancing long enough to give them a curious gaze. "Whoa. Are you two, like, having a moment here? That's, like, totally unexpected." She cocked her head and placed her hands on her hips. "You're in _love_?!"  
  
"We aren't," Rogue said quickly. She gripped the wine bottle a little tighter. "Don't be stupid, Kitty. We have to go now." She made a halfhearted dash for the door.  
  
Logan, however, moved more swiftly than she did. He blocked the door with his body, arms crossed. "Wait a moment," he said. He was gazing at Rogue as if she was the most delightful creature he'd ever laid eyes on. "Who says we aren't in love, darlin'?"  
  
"Darling?" Rogue repeated weakly.  
  
"Darling?" Kitty echoed, and nudged Rogue playfully. "Wow. How long has this, like, been going on?"  
  
"It hasn't been going on at all!" Rogue protested, sounding slightly desperate. "We aren't in love! He's - he's just playing with me or - or something -" She took a deep, shuddering breath. "Ah have to go now."  
  
Logan held up a hand and gave a lopsided grin. "Hold your horses, darlin'. You don't have to go anywhere."  
  
"Yes, Ah do. Ah have to go and we're _not_ in love. We never have been."  
  
"We are now."  
  
"We are not!" Rogue seemed close to tears. She stamped her foot. "Stop teasing!"  
  
Kitty giggled.  
  
"I'm not teasin', darlin'. I've never been more serious in my life." He moved a little closer. "I'll admit, I never thought much about you before. You were so young and everythin'; I thought you were just a kid. But seein' you now, you're so beautiful and - and grown up. Nice eyes, nice hair . . . you've become a woman, darlin'." He reached out a hand to touch her.  
  
Rogue backed up frantically, eyes wide. "Shut up! Get away from me!"  
  
"Oh, like, come on, Rogue," Kitty said, disgusted. "I know you value your privacy or whatever, but, like, this is going _too_ far. Logan's madly in love with you! Like, what kind of idiot are you? Don't you _ever_ want to have some fun?"  
  
"No!" Rogue said, distraught. "Stay away from me, Logan, or Ah'll - Ah'll scream! Ah'm not joking!"  
  
"Don't play hard to get, darlin'. You know you want me."  
  
"Ah do _not!_"  
  
Logan, looking hungry, grabbed her by the shoulder and tried to pull her into his embrace. "Let me show you how much you mean to me, darlin'." Rogue wrenched away and desperately lunged for the counter. Her hands scrabbled blindly in the utensil drawer, searching for a weapon. The next time Logan swooped down on her she was ready.  
  
"_STOP RIGHT THERE_!"  
  
Logan halted and then backed away warily, eyeing the enormous butcher knife Rogue held in one hand. "Hey, darlin'. Take it easy." Rogue was trembling all over. Logan began making soothing sounds."Settle down, darlin'. I'm sorry I was takin' it too fast, but you're just so damn irresistible I can't help myself-"  
  
"Don't. Just don't, all right?" Rogue looked as though she was going through a horrible internal struggle. She squeezed her eyes shut briefly. "Ah don't want to use this, Logan, Ah really don't. But Ah have to defend mahself. Ah hope you understand."  
  
"I wasn't plannin' on hurtin' you, darlin'."  
  
"Maybe not, but Ah can't take chances." Rogue cautiously lowered the knife as Kitty watched, breathless and wide-eyed. "Ah'll tell you what Ah'm going to do. Listen closely. Ah'm going to set this knife down on the counter, and then Ah'm going to walk out the door and leave. And you're going to sit here and you _aren't_ going to come after me. No matter what. And once Ah'm gone, you won't come searching for me. You won't look for me at all unless Ah come looking for _you_. Got it?"  
  
If she had meant to scare him off, she was disappointed. Logan all but licked his lips. "I got it, all right. God, I _love_ a girl with spirit! You're a fiery one, darlin'."  
  
"Please shut up." Still trembling, Rogue slowly set the knife down on the counter and moved her hand away. Neither Kitty nor Logan made a single sound. The only sound was the ticking of the clock. Rogue adjusted the wine bottle under her arm and checked to make sure the horse radish was still in her pocket. "All right. Ah'm going now. Kitty - come with me." She took a step towards the door.  
  
Logan, unable to restrain himself a moment longer, pounced.  
  
Rogue yelped as they toppled to the floor together.  
  
The wine bottle went rolling under the counter.  
  
Kitty's eyes grew even rounder. "Like, _wow_, you two. Couldn't you get a room or something?"  
  
Rogue struggled out from under Logan, hair disheveled and cheeks flushed. She looked horrifed. "Logan, stop! You have to! It's life or death!" She evaded him as he reached for her again. "Logan, listen to me. Please! Don't touch me!" Rogue ducked out of his embrace a thrid time, nearly crying. She was desperate. She took a deep breath and faced Logan."If you care about me at all, you'll _LEAVE ME ALONE AND LISTEN TO ME_!!"  
  
There was a brief silence.  
  
"What is it, darlin'?" Logan asked. Although he was still visibly itching to get his hands on her, he was managing to keep himself under control. "I'm warnin' you, you'd better speak quickly, 'cause I'm not in a very patient mood."  
  
Rogue brushed her hair out of her face, trying to collect herself. "Logan. Listen. Ah - Ah know you - Ah know you -" She took a deep breath. "Ah know you - _love_- me, but Ah can't let you touch me. You know what will happen if our skin meets."  
  
"Oh, god! I'd, like, totally forgotten!" Kitty was stunned.  
  
Logan wasn't. "Yeah, Ah know what will happen, darlin'. I can't wait."  
  
"Stop it," Rogue begged. "You don't know what you're saying, Logan! You aren't thinking right! Don't you remember? If you touch my bare skin you'll-" She swallowed. "You'll _die_."  
  
Logan ignored her. "God, darlin', you've become a beautiful woman."  
  
"_Stop_!" Rogue clamped her hands to her head, at the end of her rope. She looked desperately at Kitty. "Kitty, you're the one who got me into this. Can't you do anything?"  
  
"Like, what? I'm just as helpless as you are!"  
  
"Yeah, but you aren't about to accidentally _kill_someone."  
  
"Nobody's goin' to kill anybody," Logan said. He edged closer to Rogue and eyed her hungrily. "Enough talkin', darlin'. Why don't we go up to my room now?"  
  
Rogue was shocked. "_Stay back_!"  
  
"Listen, Mr. Logan," Kitty said, serious now and trying to help. "Like, you _can't_ touch Rogue. OK? Cause, like, for one thing, she's sort of too young for you. I mean, she's only in high school. And, like, for another thing, you'll totally die if you try to touch her. Mr. Logan? Are you listening? Like, this is important."  
  
Logan ignored her. "Come on, darlin'. It doesn't suit you when you play hard to get. I expected more from a girl like you."  
  
Rogue began to cry. "Dammit, Kitty, nothing will work. He'll touch me and he'll die and everyone will hate me, and Ah can't do a single thing about it. There's no cure or-" She stopped crying suddenly and looked up. Her eyes were wide and there was a dawning light in them. "Wait a moment. The cure! Of course!"  
  
"Like, what do you mean?"  
  
"Ah mean, we _do_ have a cure! That's the whole reason we're in here! Ah can use it on Logan now, to break the love potion." Rogue reached for the horse radish. "Why didn't Ah think of it before?"  
  
Kitty was anxious. "Buy - what if it, like - you know - doesn't work?"  
  
"Then Ah guess we'll be in a lot of trouble."  
  
The girls exchanged tense stares.  
  
Logan broke the silence by wolf-whistling. "Lookin' good, darlin'."  
  
Rogue's face grew determined. She unscrewed the cap to the horse radish. "Kitty, would you please get the wine?"  
  
"I don't know where it, like, went."  
  
"Under the counter." Rogue looked uneasily at Logan, who crept a little closer every time she glanced the other way. He was just inches away from breathing down her neck. "And Ah'd hurry if Ah was you."  
  
Kitty bent down and reached under the counter. A moment later she straightened back up and passed the wine bottle to Rogue, who scooted discreetly away from Logan and tried to get the cork out. It was jammed in tightly. After a second she gave up. "Kitty, would you get a corkscrew? Oh, and two glasses?"  
  
Kitty hurried to obey.  
  
Logan noticed the wine. "What's that for, darlin'?" He grinned lecherously. "Are you startin' to change your mind?"  
  
"Uh - sure Ah am." Rogue grinned nervously. "Ah - Ah was thinking some wine might -" She shrugged. "You know."  
  
"Of course I know, darlin'." Logan reached for her cheek.  
  
Rogue quickly scrambled backwards. "Hey, now! Don't go so fast! Ah, um - Ah - Ah always like to have wine before Ah do - _anything_ - serious." She glanced over her shoulder. _Dammit, Kitty, hurry!_  
  
"God, darlin', I love it when you talk that way. _This_ is the Rogue I was rememberin'."  
  
"Um - remembering from when, exactly?"  
  
Logan didn't hear her. "How about a preview of comin' attractions, darlin'?" He grabbed her by the shoulders.  
  
Rogue wrenched away. "No! Bad idea!" She brushed her hair away with a trembling hand, trying to relax. "Ah - Ah told you, nothing before the wine. Ah have my rules." She tried to force a flirtatious chuckle. It fell flat. "Ah'm just a little crazy, Ah guess."  
  
"I noticed."  
  
Just then Kitty came up behind Rogue, sounding slightly breathless. "Sorry I, like, took so long. The kitchen drawers are, like, a total mess." She thrust a corkscrew and two glasses into Rogue's lap. "Here you go."  
  
"Thanks." Rogue, face pale, began to unscrew the cork. To her relief, it popped out easily. The faint scent of white wine reached her nostrils. They obviously reached Logan's, too, since his eyes narrowed and he licked his lips. Rogue attempted to ignore him as she poured the wine into the two glasses. Her hands were shaking. "There - we - go." She set the wine bottle down. "Wine is served."  
  
Logan snatched his at once. "A toast to us, darlin'."  
  
"Wait a moment!" Rogue grabbed the glass back with an apologetic grin. "Ah, uh - Ah have another ingredient. A secret ingredient." She shook some of the horse radish into the wine, wrinkling her nose at the sudden odor. "It, uh - it improves - uh - stamina." She blushed as she realized what she'd just said.  
  
Kitty giggled.  
  
Logan made a low sound of approval in his throat. "Can we drink now, darlin'? I'm goin' mad over here."  
  
"Sure. Go ahead and - and drink!" Rogue lifted the wine glass to her lips. It smelled absolutely horrible. Steeling herself, she threw her head back and drank deeply.  
  
Kitty watched curiously.  
  
"Oh, shit!" Spluttering, Rogue set the glass down and wiped her mouth frantically on her sleeve. Her mouth felt as if it was turning inside out. "That's the worst stuff Ah've ever tasted in mah life! Shit!" She spit onto the floor. "Ugh!"  
  
"Logan, like, doesn't seem to mind," Kitty murmured.  
  
It was true. Logan's glass was already drained, and he didn't look as though it had affected him one bit. In fact, he seemed invigorated. He grinned wolfishly at Rogue. "Now can we kiss, darlin'? You said we could. And don't break your promise, or there's no telling _what_ might happen."  
  
"Um-" Trying to ignore the bitter odor in her mouth, Rogue looked around frantically. Her eyes fell on a stray dishcloth. She grabbed it and held it over her lips. "Sure," she said, slightly muffled, and closed her eyes.  
  
_Please let it work._  
  
Logan wasted no time. The next thing Rogue knew, she was wrapped in his arms, crushed against him so tight she could hardly breath. His mouth met hers beneath the thin material of the dishcloth. They kissed.  
  
And kissed.  
  
And kissed.  
  
When Logan finally let her go, Rogue was dazed. She fell back limply, breathless and dizzy. Her hair was messy and her cheeks were flushed. She stared at the ceiling, panting."Wow."  
  
Kitty nudged her and gave her a knowing wink.  
  
Rogue instantly recovered herself, blushing furiously. "Ah meant - Ah meant - " She stroked her hair out of her eyes, flustered. "You know. Ah meant - _wow_. As in, _wow_, it's over - and - Ah'm so glad -"  
  
"I, like, totally know what you meant," Kitty said, smiling teasingly at the other girl. "Don't explain it to me."  
  
"Shut up," Rogue muttered, but she didn't sound angry. Cheeks still rosy, she straightened her outfit and adjusted her earrings. "Ah _didn't_ enjoy it, if that's what you're saying."  
  
"I'll, like, bet not," Kitty said sarcastically.  
  
Rogue was about to retort when a more important thought crossed her mind. She turned abruptly back to Logan, anxiety and hopefulness battling on her face. "Did - did it work?" she whispered, scarcely daring to breath.  
  
Kitty clamped a hand to her mouth, overcome with suspense.  
  
Logan was sitting on the floor, looking completely and utterly confused. He held up the damp dishcloth and studied it as if it were a newly-discovered breed of insect. His eyes traveled slowly from the dishcloth to the empty wine glass, then to the horse radish. His eyebrows furrowed. He was baffled. Lastly, his gaze came to rest on the two girls, both of them looking extremely anxious and one of them decidedly flushed. He shook his head, bewildered. "What - what just went on here?"  
  
Kitty and Rogue could hardly believe their ears. "What did you just, like, say?" Kitty asked, voice breathless. "You mean - you mean you, like, don't remember what just went on?"  
  
"Not really, no. Sorry, kid."  
  
To Logan's amazement, the two girls grabbed each other in a fierce, triumphant hug. "We did it!" Kitty squealed. "We, like, totally did it! There _is_ a cure!" She whooped. "We're, like, totally saved! Thank god for horse radish!"  
  
"Hell yeah!" Rogue agreed.   
  
Kitty jumped up and executed a series of cartwheels. "We did it! We did it!" She turned a bright face to Logan. "Aren't you, like, totally proud of us?"  
  
Logan shook his head, half amused and half bewildered. "I told you, Half-Pint, I have no idea what's goin' on here. Last thing I can remember is lunch today. After that it's all a blank-" He stopped suddenly. A look of realization came into his eyes. "Wait a moment. Wait a moment! I remember - soup. Tomato soup. And then there was something about - wine - and - and -" He stared at Rogue. "Kid."  
  
"Yeah?" Rogue blushed, avoiding his gaze.  
  
"This may sound crazy, but did I - did I try and _kiss_ you, kid?"  
  
There was a moment of silence. Rogue and Kitty exchanged glances. "Well . . ." Without warning, they both burst into helpless laughter.  
  
Logan grinned. "I hope one of you wants to explain this to me."  
  


* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

  
  
"Tomato soup." Logan shook his head. "That's the last time I eat anythin' made by Jean."  
  
"It was Kitty's fault," Rogue said, smiling. "Blame her."  
  
"Hey! Like, stop making me feel guilty!" Kitty threw a reproachful look at Rogue. "I admit it was a mistake, OK? Like, is that what you want to hear? But there's a cure now, and we, like, totally know it works. Everything will be fine."  
  
"_If_ we can get them to take it." Rogue made a face. "That was the nastiest stuff Ah ever tasted."  
  
"I didn't notice a bas taste," Logan said.  
  
"No, because you were, like, totally focused on getting Rogue into your bed," Kitty said sarcastically.  
  
Rogue blushed. "Shut up," she muttered. "It's all over now."  
  
Logan gave her a curious look. Kitty, wise for once, kept her mouth shut.  
  
They were sitting in the girls' bedroom, relaxing on various chairs. They had managed to make their way from the kitchen without bumping into anybody; although, as Rogue had pointed out, they were probably all immune by now anyway. Kitty had told Logan the whole story: nine ingredients, tomato soup, getting the cure, and everything. Not surprisingly, he had found it hilarious. Kitty had been worried about his health, he laughed so hard. Especially the parts with him in it.  
  
"So, Half-Pint," he said now. "Who _was_ the love potion for?"  
  
Kitty's eyes became suddenly glazed and dreamy. "Scott," she giggled. "I, like, _adore_ that boy." She clasped her hands under her chin. "We're, like, probably getting married soon."  
  
"Is that so?" Logan looked questioningly at Rogue. "Did she drink it, too?" he mouthed, too low for Kitty to hear.  
  
Rogue nodded darkly.  
  
"Maybe you and Scott will have to drink a little _wine_ together, Half-Pint," Logan said aloud.  
  
Kitty ignored him. She was back in her trance. "Scott, Scott, Scott...."  
  
Rogue groaned. "Don't even try to get through to her. We'll just have to hope the cure works as well on her as it did on you."  
  
"Yeah."   
  
They watched in silence as Kitty twirled across the floor. After a moment Logan spoke up.  
  
"Kid."  
  
"What?" Rogue asked, trying to ignore the way her heartbeat sped up.  
  
"Who did you fall in love with?"  
  
Rogue blushed. "Well - Ah don't know. Nobody, Ah guess."  
  
"But you took the potion."  
  
"Yeah, Ah did."  
  
"Kitty said if you drank the potion, you fell in love with the first person you saw. That would be me, wouldn't it, kid?"  
  
"Um . . ." Rogue shrugged heplessly. "Yeah. Yeah, it would be you."  
  
"Oh." Logan studied her quizzically. "Then why didn't anything happen, kid? Am I that unattractive to you?" He grinned.  
  
"No, it's nothing about you," Rogue said quickly. "Ah . . . see, Ah guess the thing is . . ." She took a deep breath, looking determined. "See, Ah knew what would happen if we both . . . you know . . . fell in love. Ah knew we'd end up touching and then you'd . . . you'd _die_. So when Ah saw you Ah sort of tried to _stifle_ what Ah felt. You know. To protect you, Ah guess." Her cheeks were brilliantly scarlet. "Ah didn't want to kill you just because of a love potion."  
  
Logan looked at her with a strange expression. "So you kept yourself from fallin' in love just to protect me?"  
  
Rogue nodded.  
  
"Oh." Logan shifted in his seat. "Thanks, kid."  
  
"It was nothing."  
  
They sat in silence, carefully not looking at each other, while Kitty performed a series of pirouettes. Rogue nestled her head in her knees, eyes squeezed shut. She couldn't understand it. She'd thought the cure had worked perfectly.  
  
_So why did she feel this way?_


	5. The Plot Thickens

_{{Own the characters? No. Own the story? Yes. Love reviews? Most definitely. Approve of plagarism? Most definitely not. Proceed accordingly. And please enjoy.}}  
  
  
  
**CHAPTER FIVE: THE PLOT THICKENS**_

  
  
"Hey, Rogue!"  
  
Rogue, eyes narrowed, lowered the spellbook and gave Kitty a cold stare. "What?" she spat.  
  
Kitty, who was leaping across the floor and performing neat little spins, didn't notice her friend's icy tone of voice. "Will you, like, be my bridesmaid? I'd totally love it if you would. I mean, I've, like, picked out all the dresses already. I promise they aren't ugly. They're like totally _wow_."   
  
"Oh my god," Rogue groaned. "Kitty, for the love of everything holy, just _shut up._ OK? Ah really don't feel like listening to it right now."  
  
Kitty ignored her. "You will? Oh, totally fab, Rogue. Like, you're the best friend ever. Scott will totally love this. You wanna hear how they look?"  
  
"_NO_," said Logan and Rogue in unison. They looked at each other, grinned, and then looked back at Kitty.  
  
She stopped twirling long enough to give them a pouty face. "Why are you two, like, ganging up on me? Aren't you happy for me?"  
  
"Yes, wildly happy," Rogue sighed. "It's just that we need to be in silence to think right now."  
  
"OK. Cool!" Kitty resumed her spinning. "So, like. The dresses are pink chiffon, like the ones in my cousin's wedding last summer. This great pink, like, not quite bubblegum, but not salmon either. And the sash is really big and shiny and reaches up to, like, your chest, and there are these fake orchids sewn into the waist, like, and-"  
  
"Ah think Ah'm going to be sick," Rogue announced flatly.  
  
"Just tune her out, kid." Logan and Rogue were still sitting in the kitchen, around the table. On the table was scattered a bottle of white wine, several jars of horseradish, and the spellbook. Kitty was dancing around the spilled pots and pans in a romantic frenzy. "I say, the sooner we get her over Scott, the better."  
  
"Amen to that." Rogue set the spellbook down with a thump. "By the way - Ah found what you were looking for."  
  
"And?" Logan asked anxiously.  
  
"The love potion only works one time. Once you're cured, you don't fall in love again. Unless you drink some more, obviously."  
  
Logan heaved a huge sigh of relief. "Well, thank god for that, huh, kid?"  
  
"We could have figured it out ourselves. Ah mean, if you still had the love potion working in you, then you would have fallen for _her_ by now." Rogue jerked a finger towards Kitty, who was dancing with a dishcloth tied around her neck while she kept on describing the bridesmaid dresses.  
  
Logan looked faintly disgusted. "Lord."  
  
"Ah know."  
  
Kitty was trying to do leaps now. "-And, like, big silk bonnets. With roses and daisies and sunflowers - like, totally old-fashioned, you know? And kind of, like, retro. And dark pantyhose-"  
  
Logan turned abruptly to Rogue, who was watching Kitty with a nauseous expression. "Kid."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I didn't act like her or anythin', did I?"  
  
"Dancing around talking about dresses and bonnets?" Rogue choked down a slightly hysterical laugh. "Uh, no. Not at all, really."  
  
"Good. I don't think I could ever live that down."  
  
"Well, it wouldn't have been your fault."  
  
"Well-" Logan leaned forwards. There was obviously something on his mind. "So, what _did_ I do?"  
  
"Don't worry about it. Ah told you, it doesn't matter anymore."  
  
"Yeah, but - I'm kinda curious - I mean, I didn't want to hurt you or anythin' -"  
  
"Ah told you, you didn't." Rogue was flushing uncomfortably. "Look, Ah mean, do you mind if we just sorta drop it?"  
  
"Oh, sure!" Logan said quickly. "No problem. I mean, I definitely owe you and everythin'-"  
  
Rogue just stared down at the tabletop, cheeks red.  
  
Logan cleared his throat and tactfully changed the subject. "So. Where's Scott?"  
  
Kitty came pirouetting towards them. "He's, like, totally running through my dreams, and he's wearing a baby blue tuxedo with, like, a corsage of-"  
  
Rogue raised her voice, interrupting. "We don't know. We last saw him in the hall, going that way." She pointed.  
  
"And who is he in love with, now?"  
  
"Um-" Rogue briefly consulted her pad. "Ororo. God, how weird."  
  
"You're tellin' me." Logan pulled the cork out of the wine bottle and carefully poured two glassfuls. "The thing is, it might be hard to get to him to kiss Kitty here, seeing as he's so fixed on Ororo." Logan shook his head. "How the _hell_ do you kids get people into this kind of mess?"  
  
Rogue pointed at Kitty. "All her fault. Well - and mine. And Jean's. But mainly Kitty."  
  
Kitty took a flying leap and landed hard on the floor, sprawling everywhere. She sat up with a dazed look. "Scott . . . ?"  
  
Rogue winced.  
  
"Yeah. That about makes sense," Logan sighed. He held up the wine glasses. "White wine, right here. Now for the horseradish. How much?"  
  
Rogue grabbed the jar of horseradish. "Ah guess it doesn't really matter how much. Ah'll just put it about a spoonful for each. It worked before."  
  
Logan wrinkled his nose as he watched Rogue apply the horseradish. "_I drank that?_"  
  
"It was kinda essential," Rogue said dryly.  
  
Logan was silent.  
  
"There." Rogue surveyed the wine glasses anxiously. "There's our only hope of salvation from _her_."  
  
Kitty picked up a stray spoon and began beating out a tune on the bottom of a frying pan. "Scott and Kitty, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-NG . . ."  
  
Rogue turned pale. "Logan?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Can we _please_ go find Scott, right _now_? Before Ah lose mah mind completely?"  
  
"I'm with you, kid. Let's get this over with." Logan handed the glasses to Rogue. "I'll handle her."  
  
Rogue watched as Logan bent over Kitty. "Hey, kid?" he said, in his nicest voice. "You wanna come with us to find Scott? We have a wedding present for you two."  
  
Kitty stopped banging on the pan and looked at him suspiciously, eyes narrowed. "You, like, wanna help me find Scott?"  
  
"Yeah." Logan took hold of her elbow. "Let's go, now. Let's go find your - _HEY_! What the hell?!"  
  
Kitty had just smashed Logan in the arm with her frying pan. She wrenched away and backed off from him, now looking wild-eyed. "You're just trying to, like, steal Scott for yourself, aren't you, Mr. Logan? Well, like, I won't let you! He's mine! All mine!"  
  
Rogue snorted with laughter in spite of herself.  
  
Logan stared at Kitty, disbelief etched across his face. "Steal him for myself? What the hell?!"  
  
"I know you! Like, I totally see the way you look at him!"  
  
Rogue had to put the wine glasses down on the table, she was laughing so hard.  
  
Logan's expression turned from disgust and horror to steely determination. "OK. That's it. You're the straw that broke the camel's back, Half-Pint." Before Kitty could react, Logan lunged at her and pinned her to the ground. There was a brief, frantic struggle. Rogue watched, not laughing anymore. After several moments, the tussling stopped. Logan straightened up, looking triumphant; in his arms he was carrying Kitty, with one dishcloth tied firmly around her ankles and the other around her wrists.  
  
Rogue grinned. "Good thinking."  
  
"Let's go." Logan headed for the door, an outraged Kitty slung over his shoulder.  
  
Rogue, smiling to herself, grabbed the glasses and followed.  
  


* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

  
  
"I totally _hate_ both of you," Kitty sobbed. "I'm totally, like, going to beat you up when I get down. You're gonna be sorry! Like, Scott loves _me!_ Not you . . . not you . . . " She broke off, crying miserably.  
  
Logan's face was set. They had been searching the grounds for close to an hour now, and there was still no sign of Scott. In fact, there was no sign of _anyone_. It was as if everyone had vanished during the scene in the kitchen, leaving only three people in the entire Institute alive.  
  
Rogue, just as grim as Logan, stalked along behind the two, gripping the wine glasses and peering intently into every shadowy corner they passed.  
  
"I hate you!" Kitty wailed. "I hate you both!"  
  
Rogue gritted her teeth. "Ah think Ah had a nightmare like this once."  
  
"I haven't had a nightmare like this until now," Logan said. He stopped at the end of the corridor, and looked around. Nothing. Not even a shadow. "This is gettin' downright ludicrous."  
  
"He has to be here. We just saw him." Rogue sounded desperate. "He was chasing after Ororo-"  
  
"That reminds me, kid," Logan said. "Who is Ororo stuck on? Do you know?"  
  
"Um -" In spite of herself, Rogue smiled. "Yeah. You."  
  
"Me?" Logan was incredulous. "That's impossible."  
  
"Yeah . . . " Rogue said, but she wasn't really thinking about it. She was suddenly remembering what she had said to Kitty, in the hall closet. _ "So how does it work? Maybe . . . . " She furrowed her brow, thinking hard. "Maybe . . . whoever sees him_ first _falls in love with him . . . and that's why everybody only falls in love with one person." Her eyes lit up. "That's it! Ah figured it out!"_ If that was true, then Ororo would have seen Logan before Rogue. Which meant that Marie wouldn't have been affected at all. But then - why - why had it felt like it had?  
  
"Kid?"  
  
"Hmm?" Rogue looked up, startled out of her reverie. "What?"  
  
"Why are you blushin'?"  
  
"Blushing?" Rogue clapped a hand to her cheek, which, sure enough, was warm. "Um - no reason - Ah guess Ah'm just all hot from looking all over the Institute -"  
  
Logan looked like he was about to something else, but just at the moment, the sound of running footsteps came towards them from the end of the corridor. Both of them twirled around. Marie's jaw dropped. Logan's eyes lit up with relief. "At last!"  
  
Ororo, catching sight of the three of them, skidded to a halt. Rogue noted with a sudden bitter pang that the woman's big, dark eyes grew immediately more limpid and shiny. Her breath sped up and she looked Logan slowly up and down. "So," she whispered, in a seductive little voice. "There you are."  
  
Instinctively, Rogue stepped between the two.  
  
Ororo didn't even pay attention to her. "I've been looking all over for you."  
  
Logan was at a loss. "Ah - well - that's nice, Ororo -"  
  
Ororo drew her breath in sharply and took a step forwards. "Oh, say my name again!" she breathed, closing her eyes in ecstasy.  
  
Logan looked around him uncertainly. "Ororo?" he ventured.  
  
Ororo moaned.  
  
"Oh, get a grip, you old cow," Rogue spat.  
  
Ororo looked at her with sudden dislike. Before she could say anything, however, Scott stepped out of the shadows and pressed an urgent hand to her arm. "Ororo - my love - why are we stalling? We should be in my bedroom now, decorating each other's bodies with fine oils and rose petals, making passionate love in-"  
  
Ororo cut him off with a sharp slap. "Shut _up_, you sick, filthy little brat!"  
  
Scott stared at her, eyes brimming with tears.  
  
Kitty, still slung over Logan's shoulder, began kicking violently with her tied-together legs. "Scott! Scott!" she shrieked. "It's me, Kitty! Like, your own true love! Come rescue me, Scott! You're, like, totally my Prince Charming!"  
  
Scott ignored her. "Ororo! Why?" he asked, voice full of pain and hurt.  
  
"Because I loathe you, you undersized worm." Ororo pointed passionately at Logan. "There's a real man! There's who I want to make love with!"  
  
Rogue bristled.  
  
Logan blinked several times.  
  
Kitty began to cry. "Scott? Scott? Come rescue me! I love you! Like, totally love you! Why aren't you coming?"  
  
Ororo turned to Kitty. "Oh, take him, you whining little Barbie doll. You're welcome to him."  
  
Scott turned away, dazed and wild-eyed. "I shall kill myself," he announced hollowly. "My love loves another, and I shall kill myself. Life is not worth living now."  
  
"Would you just hurry up and do it, then?" Ororo spat.  
  
Scott was as pale as snow. "I shall drive a dagger into my heart. It will not hurt - my heart is already broken into a thousand bleeding pieces, torn apart by my ice-queen love. I shall kill myself-" Suddenly, he turned to Logan. His eyes narrowed. "Or - shall I kill _him?_"  
  
"Who, me?" Logan asked. He looked baffled.  
  
"No!" Ororo shrieked. "I won't let you touch him! I'll murder you before you lay a hand on him!"  
  
Kitty began screaming again. "Like, do it, Scott! Totally kill him! He, like, kidnapped me! He wants to rape you!"  
  
Scott stiffened. "_I will, then._ That settles it." And he began striding purposefully towards Logan.  
  
Rogue looked around frantically. "What do we do?"  
  
Ororo was struggling with Scott, who was still coming towards Logan with a mad glint in his eyes. Kitty was screaming and kicking on Logan's shoulder. Rogue was in a panic. Logan looked around at all of them - then, making a quick decision, he dropped Kitty on the floor.  
  
Everyone paused.  
  
"That's it," Logan said. "I'm clearing this up for once and for all."  
  



	6. Tangled Web

_{{Own the characters? No. Own the story? Yes. Love reviews? Most definitely. Approve of plagarism? Most definitely not. Proceed accordingly. And please enjoy.}}  
  
  
  
**CHAPTER SIX: TANGLED WEB**_

  
  
Kitty squealed. "Ouch! That, like, totally hurt!" She began crying again. There were pools of blue eyeshadow running down her cheeks. "Scott, please hurry and _totally kill him_."  
  
Rogue looked at her with great dislike. "Kitty, once this is all cleared up, Ah am so going to hurt you."  
  
Kitty ignored her. "Scott!" she wailed. "You, like, have to kill him before we set the wedding date!"  
  
Ororo had Scott in a stranglehold. "Don't you dare mess with him! I'll gut you like a _fish_, you unworthy little anklebiter, you disgusting creep, you-"  
  
Scott gargled helplessly. "Ororo!" he managed to gasp. "My love! Don't do anything you'll regret later!"  
  
"I don't plan to," Ororo said, tightening her grip.  
  
Scott turned faintly blue.  
  
Logan cleared his throat, standing directly above the enraged Ororo and the choking Scott. Ororo looked up. Her eyes began sparkling. She dropped Scott, who fell into a gasping pile on the rug, and she straightened up, just a hair's breadth away from Logan. "Well, hello," she purred. "And what can I do for you today?"  
  
Rogue narrowed her eyes.  
  
Logan put his hands on Ororo's shoulders. She gasped. "Listen. Ororo. Do you really want to make me happy?"  
  
Ororo nodded and licked her lips. "Oh, yes."  
  
Rogue rolled her eyes disgustedly.  
  
Logan managed to dodge her grasping fingers. "Then listen. My favourite game is - closet tag."  
  
"Closet tag?" Rogue repeated.  
  
"Closet tag?" Ororo repeated, but in a much different tone. "Oooh. Sounds fun. How do you play, sweetsie-poo?"  
  
Rogue looked ready to explode.  
  
"It's simple," Logan said, once again dodging her fingers. "You go into a closet - any closet in the whole place. Then you sit very still and wait for me to come find you."  
  
"And what then?" Ororo cooed.  
  
"You have an imagination. Use it," Logan said, grinning.  
  
Ororo grinned back. "Sounds too fun for words, pumpkin-pie."  
  
"That's right - um - sugar-thing," Logan said back. "Now why you don't you go find a nice, dark, soft closet, and wait for me to come find you?"  
  
Ororo giggled. "Be quick, honey-lips."  
  
"I will."  
  
"Don't peek!" Still giggling coyly, Ororo scampered down the hall and turned the corner, pausing to throw kisses and seductively undo her top button. Logan grinned and waved, trying not to look as anxious as he felt.   
  
"Just - hurry -" he said, speaking quietly through clenched teeth. "And don't come back for a long time -"  
  
Ororo finally stopped licking her fingers and blowing kisses long enough to disappear around the corner.  
  
Logan breathed a gusty sigh of relief and turned around to face Rogue. She stared at him, one eyebrow quirked. "Sugar-thing?" she repeated in disgust. "_Sugar-thing_?"  
  
"Well, what? I had to come up with somethin'!" Logan said defensively.  
  
Rogue sighed and shook her head. "Whatever." She went over to Kitty, who was having a temper tantrum on the floor. "We have to take care of these two before Ororo comes back for seconds."  
  
"Yeah, no kiddin'." Logan went to stand over Scott, still blue and limp. "Still got the wine glasses?"  
  
Rogue held them up. "Even managed to keep from spilling."  
  
"Good job, kid." Logan nudged Scott with his toe. "Hey, Romeo!"  
  
Scott looked up with extreme dislike in his eyes. "What do you want, you sick and twisted-"  
  
Logan interrupted. "You're gonna drink some wine, and then you're gonna kiss Kitty."  
  
Scott blinked. "What?"  
  
"You heard me. Wine, kiss, Kitty, bingo. Sit up straight."  
  
Scott stared at Kitty. "Never! I'll never betray my true love!" He glared at Logan. "Oh, I can see right through your tricks and traps, don't think I can't - you want her to yourself, and then you want me-"  
  
Logan couldn't help himself. He hit Scott. Hard. In the face.  
  
Scott reeled back, a hand to his nose.  
  
Kitty screamed hysterically.  
  
"Logan!" Rogue stormed over. "What the hell are you doing? He needs to be _alive_ to drink the damn cure, you know."  
  
Logan looked a little sheepish. "Sorry. Couldn't help it."  
  
Scott staggered uncertainly to his feet and gripped the wall for support. "Now I'm going to kill you," he announced weakly, and made a lunge that was more like a fall into Logan's arms. Logan neatly tossed him away. Scott crumpled back into a heap on the floor, moaning.  
  
"Good lord," Rogue sighed, "Ah guess Ah have to take care of this. Logan, here." She handed him a glass of wine. "Prop Scott up. On mah signal, force Scott to drink it. Ah'll do the same for Kitty. Then we mash their mouths together and hope for the best."  
  
"This better work," Logan said darkly. He went to where Scott was lying, hoisted him up, and crouched behind him with the wine glass. Scott's head lolled weakly on his neck. "Better hurry, kid. He's about to go out like a light."  
  
Rogue went over to Kitty, who was writhing and hysterical. Carefully, she dragged the bound-up girl into a sitting position, clutching her around the waist. Kitty screamed and wriggled but couldn't escape Rogue. Rogue was not only twice as strong as the smaller girl, she was also in a horrible mood. She held the wine glass out of reach of Kitty's flailing arms, tied at the wrist. "Ready, Logan?"  
  
"At your signal, kid."  
  
Rogue's face was set with determination. "One - two - three!"  
  
Logan pinched Scott's nose and forcibly shoved the wine glass against his mouth. After a moment of spluttering and spitting, Scott gave up and began swallowing the wine. "It's workin'!" he called.  
  
Kitty wasn't quite as easy. She had pressed her lips together tightly, making it impossible for Rogue to force her to drink. Rogue was getting frantic. If they didn't kiss soon, the cure would be ruined, and they'd have to go through the whole mess over again. "Drink!" she hissed. Kitty refused with a shake of her head. Rogue sighed deeply. "Kitty, Ah promise, if you drink this, Ah'll let you kiss Scott."  
  
Kitty instantly opened her lips and began eagerly drinking.  
  
Rogue smiled with relief. "Working over here, too," she called.  
  
The wine was gone within a matter of seconds.  
  
"All right. Now you drag Scott over here," Rogue commanded.  
  
"Do I, like, get to kiss him now?" Kitty asked.  
  
"Yes, Kitty. And make sure you kiss him hard!"  
  
"Totally don't worry about it."  
  
"Ah'm trying not to."  
  
Logan managed to drag Scott's limp body over to Rogue and Kitty. Kitty strained eagerly against Rogue's arm. The wine had apparently made Scott slightly tipsy. He was laughing weakly and muttering something about ducks and seashells. Rogue looked at him in alarm. "God, Logan, Ah think you brain-damaged him."  
  
"Don't be paranoid." Logan propped Scott up next to Kitty. She squealed. "Ready?"  
  
"When you are." Rogue said.  
  
"One - two - three -"  
  
They tilted Scott and Kitty towards each other. Kitty instantly latched onto Scott and began kissing him passionately, making little sounds in her throat. Scott, however, was hardly reacting.  
  
"If he doesn't kiss back, does it still work?" Logan asked worriedly.  
  
"Ah don't think so." Rogue nudged Scott. "Scott! Kiss her!"  
  
Scott didn't respond.  
  
Logan leaned down. "Hey, kid," he said to Scott. "Ororo is kissing you. Don't you wanna kiss her back?"  
  
Apparently, Scott did.  
  
Rogue raised her eyebrows. "Well. Fast thinking."  
  
Logan smirked.  
  
They let the two go it for about three minutes. Just when Rogue felt she couldn't bear it anymore, Logan abruptly pulled Scott away. Kitty fell back into Rogue's arms, eyes shining, face slightly wet-looking from a combination of tears, spit, and wine. Rogue drew back. "Ew."  
  
There was a long moment of silence. "Well?" Logan asked tensely. "Did it work?"  
  
"Um . . . Ah don't know . . "  
  
They watched the two anxiously.  
  
After a second, Kitty cleared her throat and blinked. She seemed to be waking up after a long nap. She hesitated a moment, then tried to look down at her chin. "Why am I, like, so wet?" She tried to reach her hands up to feel her face. She couldn't; the dishcloth was still holding strong. A look of panic came into Kitty's eyes. "Rogue? What is going on here?"  
  
Rogue and Logan exchanged huge grins. "It's OK, Kitty," Rogue said jubilantly. She reached down and began to untie the knots. "You're cured, that's all."  
  
"Cured from what?" Kitty's eyes grew huge. "Oh no. Like, the potion. I totally forgot." She sat straight up. "Like, be honest. Who did I fall in love with? It wasn't, like, someone totally nasty, was it?"  
  
"Depends." Rogue gestured at Scott, who appeared to be passed out.  
  
"Oh." Kitty considered this. "Well, like, he's not my first choice, but he's not as bad as some people." The dishcloth fell off her wrists. Kitty began working on the one around her ankles. "Who, like, tied me up?"  
  
"I did. Sorry, Half-Pint. Long story." Logan propped Scott against the wall. "You were, um - you were kinda out of control."  
  
Kitty blushed. "Was I like -" She looked significantly between Rogue and Logan- "_that_ bad?"  
  
Logan quirked an eyebrow. "I wouldn't know."  
  
"Um, worse, in a different way," Rogue said quickly, blushing. "You did a lot of dancing. And told me Ah'd have to wear pink chiffon and bonnets to be in your wedding."  
  
"Oh. Like, totally embarrassing." Kitty looked sheepish. She pulled away the second dishcloth and stood up, slightly shakey. "I hope this doesn't get out."  
  
"Don't worry. I can't wait to forget the whole mess," Logan said fervently.  
  
"Me either," Rogue agreed.  
  
Kitty looked thoughtfully at Scott. "I mean, so - like, you two gave me the cure? And totally took care of everything?"  
  
"Not everything. But we tried."  
  
"Wow." Suddenly, Kitty turned to Rogue and gave her a spontaneous hug around the waist. "Thanks, like, so much. You're a lifesaver, Rogue." She pulled back. "Like, I'm so sorry for getting you involved in this."  
  
Rogue was embarrassed. "Uh - no problem -" she said gruffly, and pulled away. "Ah mean, Ah just want to get out of this nightmare, you know."  
  
Kitty bit her lower lip. "I'll help from now on. Like, I totally promise."  
  
"OK." Logan motioned to Scott. "First thing we have to do is arrange a little meeting between this boy and Ororo."  
  
"Where is Miss Ororo, anyway?"  
  
"'Miss Ororo' is off in a closet somewhere," Logan sighed. "And we'd better go find her."  
  


* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

  
  
Rogue and Kitty dashed to the next closet. There was a slight scuffle. "Let me open this one!" Kitty demanded. "You've opened, like, the past ten! It's my turn!"  
  
Rogue sighed and stepped back. "Whatever. It's not a game."  
  
Kitty triumphantly swung the door open. "Ta-da!"  
  
Rogue looked at the display of brooms, mops, and cleaning sprays with her eyebrows raised. "Impressive. Maybe she's hiding behind the Windex."  
  
Kitty, who was in charge of the wine glasses and horseradish, glared. "Don't, like, be so sarcastic."  
  
Rogue was carrying the wine bottle. She shifted it carefully to her other arm. "Then don't act like a little kid."  
  
"Hey, girls. Play nice." Logan, who was in charge of the limp and befuddled Scott, came up behind them. "If she's not in here, she's in the next one down. Keep going."  
  
Kitty made a face at Rogue and dashed to the next closet door. "Nothing in here," she announced, and raced over to the next one, ponytail bouncing.  
  
Rogue hung back with Logan and Scott. "So," she said, carefully.  
  
"Yeah, kid?"  
  
"Well. Ah mean, once we make Ororo and Scott kiss, Scott will be cured. But Ororo will still be in love with you." Rogue said this in a carefully flat voice.  
  
"In that case, we'll have to use the cure on her, too." Logan looked at Rogue quizzically. "There a problem with that, kid?"  
  
"No!" Rogue said quickly. Then, after a pause, she added, "But - well - Ah mean - it's just gonna be bad for you, having to kiss her and all -"  
  
Logan smiled to himself. "I can probably recover."  
  
Rogue looked at him sharply. "You like her?"  
  
"No! Don't be silly! She's been my friends for years. She's more like - my sister, or somethin'." Logan gazed at Rogue. "You sure are getting all fired up about this."  
  
"Well -" Rogue coughed uncomfortably. "Just trying to - keep everyone happy -"  
  
"Three for one, sale on aisle ten, please don't drop your pants," Scott mumbled softly.  
  
Logan caught Rogue staring and shrugged. "He'll be OK."  
  
"Ah hope."  
  
Kitty appeared at the end of the hallway, eyes big and excited. "Like, I totally found her!" she called.  
  
Rogue tensed.  
  
Logan adjusted his grip on Scott. "Get ready. Kitty!" he called. "Come here and help Rogue mix up the cure. I'll have to kiss her first, because she won't come near Scott as long as she's under the influence of the damn potion."  
  
Kitty obediently came over to where Rogue was standing, silently fuming. "She's in the big closet near the dining room. She tried to, like, slap me when I opened the door, but I bet she'll be more friendly with you. Totally."  
  
Rogue just gave Kitty a smoldering glare.  
  
Logan set Scott down by the wall, where he looked around confusedly and then dozed off. "All right. You two make the wine. This shouldn't take too long." He looked a little anxious.  
  
Kitty mixed up the two glasses as fast as she could. Rogue stood by, watching with great disapproval. When Kitty was done, she handed the glasses to Logan, who straightened his collar before he accepted them.   
  
"It, like, tastes pretty nasty," Kitty warned.  
  
Logan took a sniff. "God. This won't be any fun at all."   
  
Rogue rolled her eyes.  
  
Logan winked at the two girls. "Wish me luck," he said, and disappeared down the hall.  
  



	7. Drama Queen

_{{Own the characters? No. Own the story? Yes. Love reviews? Most definitely. Approve of plagarism? Most definitely not. Proceed accordingly. And please enjoy.}}  
  
  
  
**CHAPTER SEVEN: DRAMA QUEEN**_

  
  
Rogue slouched against the wall, pouting; Kitty was doing stretches on the carpet. Between them, Scott sat like an oversized ragdoll, still mumbling vague, incoherent sentences and laughing every five minutes. The girls ignored him. It had been a full ten minutes since Logan disappeared around the corner with the wine glasses. Rogue was anxiously fidgeting. She kept crossing and uncrossing her arms, twitching her foot, or compulsively pushing her hair back behind her ear.  
  
Kitty carefully lowered herself into a split. "You, like, look a little agitated."  
  
"What?" Rogue looked at Kitty, startled out of her reverie. "What do you mean, agitated?"  
  
"I mean," Kitty said, trying to stretch her legs even farther apart, "that you seem totally upset. And kinda jumpy. Like, you're nervous, or whatever."  
  
"Oh. Well. Right." Rogue took a deep breath and willed herself to stop fidgeting.  
  
Several moments passed.  
  
"OK, now you just look, like, totally pyscho," Kitty blurted. She was trying a backbend now. "I mean, you're just sitting completely still, glaring at the walls. You haven't, like, even moved a finger in _forever_. Creepy."  
  
Rogue exploded. "Well, what the hell do you expect me to do?!" she shouted.  
  
Kitty stopping excercising and sat down, reflectively. "I dunno. Maybe, like, stop worrying about silly things. For a start."  
  
Rogue gave her a dark look.  
  
"I mean, like, for instance, maybe, like - Logan and Ororo?"  
  
"They've been gone for nearly twelve minutes now," Rogue announced flatly. "How long can it take to drink wine and kiss in a closet?"  
  
Kitty giggled. "A _long_ time. Like, totally."  
  
"Oh, what would you know about it?" Rogue snapped. She stood up and went to stand a few feet away, arms crossed tightly across her chest, her back to Kitty and Scott.  
  
Kitty resumed stretching. "You know," she said, "I, like, thought of something kinda weird."  
  
"Spare me. Please."  
  
"No, like, this is serious!" Kitty tried to get her legs into the lotus position. "It's about the potion."  
  
"What?" Rogue asked grudgingly.  
  
"OK. When I was, like, under the effect of the potion, I was giving you and Logan a real hard time, right?"  
  
Rogue rolled her eyes. "Definitely."  
  
"But, like, I never used my powers. I mean, Logan was able to totally tie me up and everything. And I acted as if I didn't even have the power to escape."  
  
Rogue felt herself growing interested in spite of herself. "That's true."  
  
"And - like - when Scott tried to kill Logan, as clearly as I can remember, he, like, only threatened him with a knife or whatever. He could have just ripped off his glasses and totally - boom."  
  
Rogue winced.  
  
"And Ororo! She didn't call up any storms to try and stop Scott." Kitty managed to get herself into a shakey lotus position. "I mean, it's, like, weird. You know? It's like we all lose our powers when we take the potion-"  
  
"Or else just get so messed up that we forget about them completely."  
  
"Good point." Kitty considered this. She glanced at Scott. "It would be, like, too risky to test it with _him_, wouldn't it?"  
  
"Um - Ah guess so -" But Rogue was looking intrigued. She went to stand over Scott, who looked up at her through his red glasses and grinned weakly. Rogue and Kitty exchanged glances.   
  
"Maybe - if we aim him at, like, a wall or something -" Kitty carefully pulled herself out of the lotus position. "I mean, this is an interesting observation or whatever. We need to, like, study and test theories, right?"  
  
"Right," Rogue agreed.  
  
Scott laughed faintly. "Didn't the drawer come out in the big green hospital?" he asked, voice weak and garbled.  
  
Kitty bit her lower lip. "On second thought -"  
  
"No, let's do it." Rogue was excited. "Get out of the way, Kitty." Slowly, gingerly, Rogue began reaching for Scott's red sunglasses.   
  
Kitty moved nervously to the side.  
  
Rogue's hand closed around the stem of the glasses.  
  
"Like, maybe we shouldn't-"  
  
Rogue took a deep breath and steeled herself to yank the glasses off. Three - two - one -  
  
"Stop!"  
  
Startled, Rogue turned around. Logan came running towards her, panicked. When he reached her, he snatched her hand away from Scott's sunglasses and stared down at her, eyes slightly wild. "What the hell are you doin', kid? Have you gone mad? You can't take his damn glasses off! You could have been - you would have been -" Disgusted, Logan let her wrist drop. "What's _wrong_ with you, kid?"  
  
Rogue's face flamed. "Nothing," she spat, voice hard and chagrined. "None of your business."  
  
"Well, I think it is, seein' as you were about to commit suicide."  
  
Rogue didn't answer. Just glowered at the floor.  
  
"It was, like, my fault too, Logan," Kitty piped up. "I mean, I, like, had the idea-"  
  
"_You_ have caused enough trouble," Logan interrupted harshly. The girls had never seem him look so agitated. "I think it's best if both you girls just keep your hands to yourselves from now on."  
  
Rogue and Kitty exchanged sullen looks. "You're not mah father," Rogue muttered.  
  
Logan was silent.  
  
The three stood in a circle, all of them tense, all of them irritated and confused.  
  
"Logan? What's wrong?"  
  
The three of them looked at the end of the hallway. Ororo stood there, hair slightly mussed, a sheepish expression on her face. She was hastily buttoning the top few buttons of her blouse. "What is it?" she asked again, coming closer. Rogue was relieved to see that Ororo was obviously back to her usual refined self. Her voice was clear and even, her movements elegant and subdued. Gone was the simpering, maudlin vixen. "Is something the matter?"  
  
Logan sighed. "No - just the girls - and him-" He gestured at Scott.  
  
Ororo's eyes widened. "Scott?! Is he OK?"  
  
Scott raised his head at the sound of his name. "No," he said indistinctly. "I did not take the duck, and I wouldn't ever make you into a cake. It wasn't three. It was a color named Fred."  
  
Ororo raised a hand to her mouth. "Oh my god. Poor child." Her dark eyes filled with tears. "He's gone mad, hasn't he?"  
  
"Well - not exactly - we don't know what's wrong." Logan scratched his neck sheepishly. "Um. To be perfectly honest, at some point in the whole mess - I - ah - I suppose I sort of - had to - hit him."  
  
"Hit him? You didn't!" Ororo knelt carefully beside Scott. "Will he recover?"  
  
"Well, he was already a little mad," Rogue piped in. "Ah mean, he was talking about killing himself because you didn't want to have sex with him."  
  
Ororo looked shocked. "Oh. My."  
  
"Look," Logan said wearily, "all you have to do is drink the wine and kiss him. That's it."   
  
"And he'll be OK after that? You're sure?"  
  
"Well, he won't be in love with you anymore."  
  
Ororo put a hand on Scott's forehead. "He's feverish."  
  
Kitty tapped her on the shoulder.  
  
"What, child? Oh." Ororo skeptically accepted the two cloudy glasses of white wine. She sniffed at them and made a face. "How - unique."  
  
"It's better if you don't smell it," Rogue offered.  
  
"And make sure you, like, kiss him hard," Kitty added.  
  
Ororo sighed. "This is ridiculous." She looked at Kitty. "If _only_ I had managed to stop you that day in the kitchen."  
  
Kitty bit her lower lip, looking guilty.  
  
"Well. No help for it now." Putting a brave smile on, Ororo held one glass of wine up to her lips and the other up to Scott's. He blinked blearily. Ororo smiled at him. Scott's eyes widened. Suddenly, he seemed neither weak nor faint. He sat straight up, nearly knocking the wine glasses out of Ororo's hands.  
  
"Ororo!" Scott cried. "You've returned to me! I knew you would, my love, my all." He leaned forwards, lips puckered.  
  
"Drink this first," Ororo interjected quickly, handing him the wine.  
  
Scott gulped it down greedily and without question, then threw the glass aside. Logan caught it deftly before it could shatter against the wall. Rogue gave him a grateful look. He winked.   
  
"Now we can kiss," Ororo said, looking a little unenthusiastic herself. She shut her eyes and leaned forwards, lips pursed like a hesitant little kid.  
  
But Scott had returned to his former mad state. He looked around, pale and sweaty and, Rogue was sure, wild-eyed behind his glasses. He grabbed Ororo by the shoulders and shook her roughly. "Duck feast! Duck feast!" he screamed. "It doesn't know how much to give!" He grabbed Ororo in a passionate frenzy and began kissing her as hard as he could manage. They caught one last glimpse of Ororo's horrified face before it was hidden by Scott's greedy mouth.  
  
Kitty and Rogue looked at each other, at a loss for words. "Wow."  
  
Logan seemed baffled. "'Duck feast?' What does that _mean_?"  
  
"Search me," Rogue said.  
  
Kitty giggled and shrugged.  
  
Abruptly, Scott stopped kissing Ororo and let her drop. Taken offguard, she fell against the floor with a thud. Scott looked around, bewildered and disoriented. He put a hand up to his nose. It came away slightly bloody. "Where -" he began.  
  
Kitty cut him off. "Like, please, Scott. No more about ducks and pants, OK?"  
  
Scott gazed blankly at her. "I just had-" he said slowly - "a really weird dream."  
  
"Didn't we all," Logan sighed. He leaned against the wall, still clutching the wine glass.  
  
"What happened?" Scott looked at the girls beseechingly. "Kitty? Marie?"  
  
"I guess we'll have to explain," Kitty sighed. "Like, come on, Scott. We can talk in the kitchen."  
  


* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

  
  
"You _hit_ me?" Scott, holding a cold compress to his head, gave Logan a pained look. "In the _face_?"  
  
"Hey, kid, I sorta had to. You were, uh - you were threatening to kill me. And you sorta thought I was going to - um -" Logan stopped looking defensive and started looking a little embarrassed.  
  
"Rape you," Kitty supplied helpfully.  
  
Rogue snickered as Scott's face turned the same shade as his glasses. "I just - I just don't get it. I don't understand it at all."  
  
"It's OK." Ororo patted him on the back. "It's very complicated. Just be glad we're all OK."  
  
Scott sighed. "I didn't hurt you or anything, did I?" he asked Ororo, looking guilty.  
  
"No, no. It's fine. It wasn't your fault."  
  
Rogue, looking at Ororo smiling compassionately, felt a sudden burst of guilt on her part. "Uh, Ororo?"  
  
"Yes, child?"  
  
"Um. Well. Ah'm sorry Ah called you a cow."  
  
Ororo blinked. "Pardon me?"  
  
"Oh, forget it. It's just - Ah guess Ah got a bit - um - you were a little annoying when you were on the potion, and Ah guess Ah said some things Ah shouldn't have." Rogue began to wish she'd never brought the topic up.   
  
"Oh." Ororo glanced back and forth between Rogue and Logan. "Oh!"  
  
Rogue blushed furiously.  
  
Kitty tactfully changed the subject. "Look, Scott. Like, this whole thing is sorta totally my fault. Like, I made this love potion, and then I accidentally left it in the fridge, and Jean kinda, like, put in in the tomato soup, and we all drank it, and like, yeah. I'm totally sorry."  
  
Scott mulled over this. "Oh. OK." Then he looked around, confused. "Wait a sec. Where _is_ Jean?"  
  
Rogue cleared her throat. "We don't know. To be honest, we last saw her in the girl's room at school."  
  
"What do you mean? She's OK, isn't she?"  
  
"We assume." Rogue couldn't help enjoying this, as wicked as it was. "She's - well." Rogue put on a very tragic face. "Scott, Ah hate to break it to you, but Jean is now in love with Kurt."  
  
Kitty and Scott winced simultaneously.  
  
"Careful." Ororo patted Scott's back. "Take it easy."  
  
"But - why? How?" Scott gripped the compress a little tighter. "I just don't get it. No - wait a moment. It's the _potion_, isn't it?"  
  
"Bingo," said Rogue brightly.  
  
"I guess that's a relief in one way." Scott considered the situation. "But how can we get her back to normal?"  
  
"Same as we did with everyone else," Rogue said. "Wine, kiss, spell broken."  
  
Scott groaned. "Where could she be?"  
  
"And where is _Kurt_?" Kitty asked anxiously.  
  
Ororo perked up. "I know where Kurt is, at least."  
  
They all looked at her in surprise.  
  
"It was early this afternoon, before the potion had even started working. I had just finished my soup when Kurt called from school, saying he felt sick and needed to come home. I got in the car and went to pick him up. He looked pretty bad. It was right after lunch, so I assumed it was food poisoning. I was driving Kurt home when the potion took effect with me. I saw Logan-" Ororo gestured- "through the car window. Kurt got out and went upstairs to his room. I ran into Scott, the whole mess started. You know the rest."  
  
"So why didn't Kurt fall in love with you?" Kitty demanded.  
  
"He didn't really lift his head the whole car ride," Ororo said with a shrug. "Maybe he didn't see me. Maybe the potion hadn't begun working yet."  
  
"He drank a lot of it," Rogue remembered.  
  
"Maybe it made him sick?" Kitty wondered nervously.  
  
"The point is," Logan interjected firmly, "is that Jean is somewhere loose, in love with Kurt, and Kurt is up in his room sick. Once we get the two of them together, Kurt will fall in love with her, they can drink the wine and kiss, and it will all be over."  
  
"Thank God," Ororo sighed.  
  
Rogue glanced at Kitty to see how she was taking this news. Her face looked tense and determined. A bad feeling sprang up in the pit of Rogue's stomach. "Kitty-"  
  
"No," Kitty said.  
  
They all stared at her.  
  
Rogue reached out a hand to touch the sleeve of Kitty's shirt. She shook it off impatiently. "_No_."  
  
"Kitty, listen. Ah know you don't want Kurt in love with Jean. But it's not real - it's only the potion. And it will all be over in a minute or two. You have to be reasonable-" Rogue sounded a little desperate.  
  
"I do not!" Kitty shouted. "Like, leave me alone! I know what I'm doing!"  
  
"You do not," Rogue shouted back, losing patience. "This whole horrible mess was because of you. And Ah'll be damned if Ah stand by and watch you make it worse."  
  
In reponse, Kitty suddenly vanished.  
  
"Shit!" Rogue went pale. Without a word to anyone, she dashed out of the room, leaving the kitchen door swinging behind her.  
  
There was a long silence.  
  
"Um. Where exactly did they go?" Scott asked.  
  
Logan sighed deeply. "I dunno, but I have the feelin' they're not up to any good."  
  



	8. Blue Romeo

_{{Own the characters? No. Own the story? Yes. Love reviews? Most definitely. Approve of plagarism? Most definitely not. Proceed accordingly. And please enjoy.}}  
  
  
  
**CHAPTER EIGHT: BLUE ROMEO**_

  
  
Kitty stood at the door, steeling herself to knock. Her heart was pounding. This was it - this was the moment she'd been waiting for. The reason she made the potion in the first place. Squeezing her eyes shut, Kitty lifted her hand-  
  
"Don't you dare!"  
  
Something hard tackled Kitty from the side and sent her sprawling onto the carpet. Kitty shrieked.  
  
Quickly, before her bare face and neck could touch any part of Kitty, Rogue scrambled to her feet. She stood breathing hard, glaring down at Kitty, fists clenched. "Kitty, Ah hate to hurt you, but Ah will-"  
  
Kitty rose to her feet in a fury. "Like, what the hell is wrong with you?! You're, like, such a creep, Rogue! Stay out of my buiness!"  
  
"It's mah business as much as yours." Rogue took a step closer, eyes blazing. "If you get Kurt to fall in love with you, it will be impossible getting him to kiss Jean. And how are we gonna cure the two of you? Answer me that. You're just making this whole thing much more complicated than it should be."  
  
"And you're just totally jealous!" Kitty wailed, red in the face.  
  
Rogue snorted. "Of what? An uppity little chicken-giblet in charm bracelets and a pink sweater? This is all your fault, Kitty. And Ah'm here to fix-"  
  
Kitty vanished again.  
  
"Oh no. Oh no." Panicking, Rogue turned and began pounding on Kurt's door. "Kurt! Kurt!! Open up, damn it! This is important." There was no answer. "_Kurt!_"  
  
The door flew open.  
  
"Mein Gott, Rogue, what is wrong with you?" Looking bleary-eyed and rumpled, Kurt stared at her in annoyance. "I was just sleeping. I have been feeling sick, you know. _Krank_. If you don't stop pounding the door, I am going to be a little upset with you-"  
  
Rogue interrupted impatiently. "Listen, Kurt. No time to explain. Just come with me."  
  
"What? Where? _Sind Sie geisteskrank?_"  
  
"Don't speak German!" Rogue snapped, impatient. She looked over Kurt's shoulder. Her eyes grew big with horror. "Oh, no-"  
  
"What's going on here? What do you see?" Disgruntled, Kurt started to turn his head.  
  
Rogue grabbed his chin with her gloved hand and yanked his head back towards her. "Oh, it's nothing. Nothing at all. Why don't you come downstairs with me?" She looked over his shoulder and winced.  
  
"No, I want to see what's going on!" Kurt tried to turn his head again.  
  
Rogue yanked it back. "Come with me."  
  
"No!" Turn.  
  
"Yes." Yank.  
  
"No!" Turn.  
  
"Yes." Yank  
  
Kurt lost his temper completely. "Rogue! You are trying my patience! Mein Gott, woman, _was mit Ihnen falsch is_?!"  
  
"Um. it doesn't matter. Come on-" Rogue began forcibly pulling him by his chin, out of the bedroom.  
  
Kurt choked.  
  
"Oh, Kurt?"  
  
Kurt, face squished by Rogue's deathgrip, tried to turn his head once more. "Kitty?" he asked incredulously. "Are you in there?"  
  
"Yes, I totally am." Her voice was low and seductive. "Why don't you, like, come here?"  
  
Kurt began struggling in earnest. "I can't-"  
  
Rogue grimly dragged him over the threshhold.  
  
"Kurt!" Now Kitty sounded slightly impatient. "Honestly! Like, use your head, dummy."  
  
"Oh! Of course! _Wie dumm!_" A moment later, he vanished out of Rogue's grasp.  
  
She grasped desperately at thin air.  
  
The bedroom door slammed shut in her face.  
  
"No!" Rogue wailed, outraged. She began pounding at the door as hard as she could. "Let me in, you stupid little brats, you anklebiters, you lowdown, good-for-nothing, childish-"  
  
Kitty and Kurt paid no attention to her. Kurt was gazing at Kitty as if he had never seen her before. His eyes grew huge as he took in her bright blue eyes, her flirtatious smile, her soft pink sweater, her slim legs in her brandnew jeans. He gave a deep, heartfelt sigh. "Kitty. _Wow_."  
  
Kitty giggled. "Hey, Kurt. Are you feeling better?"  
  
"Much better, since I saw you. Mein Gott! You're gorgeous!" Unable to contain himself, Kurt rushed at her and grabbed her around the waist. "Kitty, I must tell you something!"  
  
"Yes?" Kitty asked, slightly breathless.  
  
"I am madly in love with you. I can scarcely eat or breath, I love you so much. You're my angel - my goddess - I would do anything for you -" Kurt began covering her neck in kisses. "_Ich liebe dich, Sie bin schšn, Sie bin vollkommen, ich liebe dich, ich liebe dich. . . ._"  
  
Kitty returned the kisses. "I, like, totally love you too."  
  
Rogue, hearing them through the door, groaned and let herself slide limply to the floor. Kitty would be knocked up by the time anyone managed to get in there. Kurt would refuse to kiss Jean, Jean would fly into a jealous rage. Rogue saw visions of misery, chaos, and disaster dancing in her head. She groaned and buried her head in her hands.  
  
Behind her, the door flew open suddenly.  
  
Rogue fell flat on her back, shocked and stunned.  
  
Above her, hazily, she saw Kitty's distressed face. "Rogue! Like, stop playing around and get up! This is totally serious!" Kitty grabbed Rogue's arm and pulled her forcefully inside the bedroom. Rogue was too dazed and surprised to protest. She wondered if she was still awake or not. This could very easily be a nightmare.  
  
"What? My darling, what are you doing? Mein Gott!" Rogue heard the sounds of Kurt's panicked voice. "No - no! Kitty, don't lock me out!" A door slammed. A lock clicked. Kurt howled. "Kitty! _Sie sind ein schreckliches MŠdchen!_ But I love you - I love you anyway. Let me in." The doorknob rattled. "Please, darling, let me in!"  
  
Kitty knelt over Rogue, tearful and tense. "Rogue - Rogue - like, sit up. You're scaring me."  
  
Rogue managed to sit up. She was in Kurt's bedroom, his slightly messy and dark bedroom, with the high ceiling and enormous windows. "Um. Kitty. What the hell is happening _now_?"  
  
Kitty burst into tears. "Oh, god, Rogue. This is, like, such a total mess. I hate myself! I hate myself!"  
  
Rogue, after an awkward moment, reached out and patted Kitty clumsily on the back. "Would you mind explaining what happened? One moment, you were letting Kurt stick his tongue in your mouth, and now-"  
  
Kitty shook her head, sobbing. "It's - it's too hard to explain. Like, I thought I'd be happy when Kurt loved me. For the first few seconds it was totally heaven. I was so, like, happy to be with him - and he's such a good kisser - and then-" Kitty sniffled miserably. "All of a sudden I realized: like, it's all fake! It's all fake! Kurt totally wouldn't have been kissing me if he hadn't had the love potion. It wasn't Kurt who loved me at all. It was, like, some silly spell."  
  
"Oh." Rogue considered this. "And you couldn't stand it anymore?"  
  
"Like, exactly." Kitty looked at her friend with moist eyes. "What are we going to do?"  
  
"Beats me." Rogue looked over at the door with a deep sigh. "At least we know he can't use his powers anymore."  
  
"Oh, like, right. I forgot." Kitty perked up a little. "I mean, he totally would have used them by now, right?"  
  
"Ah would think so."  
  
The girls stared at the door in silence for a moment. Kurt was banging on it, less and less powerfully - he seemed to be sinking into a pit of despair. "Kitty-" they heard him moan. "You are a heartbreaker, Kitty!"  
  
Kitty sniffled loudly.  
  
"We have to get the cure," Rogue announced. "And that's that."  
  
"But how do we, like, get out without letting him in?" Kitty asked anxiously.  
  
Rogue just gave her a look. "Um. Kitty. _You_ aren't being affected by the love potion."  
  
"Oh. Right." With a last sheepish smile, Kitty vanished.  
  
Rogue lay back with a moan. This was a horrible mess. At least it would all be cleared up soon. Just Kurt and Kitty - and then Jean and Kurt - Rogue smiled, thinking of Scott's horrified reaction in the kitchen. In fact, a lot of the things that went on had been funny. If it hadn't been so serious, Rogue could have enjoyed them more. Of course, Rogue herself hadn't suffered from the potion yet. Rogue frowned, considering this. She was the only one unaffected. She figured this was because all the boys she'd run into so far had already been "claimed" - Scott by Kitty, Kurt by Jean, Logan by Ororo. But still - it seemed suspicious that she was the only one left out of the fray.  
  
Kitty reappeared, breathless. "OK." She was clutching two wine glasses. "Like, they had them waiting for me."  
  
Rogue grinned. "Getting on top of things again, Ah guess."  
  
Kitty took a deep breath. "Now all we have to do is let him in."  
  
Rogue nodded encouragingly. "Right."  
  
Kitty hesitated. "This is, like, kinda hard for me."  
  
"Ah know."  
  
"I feel totally bad about it all."  
  
"It's OK. Just get it over with, all right?"  
  
Kitty smiled. "Like, here goes nothing." Steeling herself, she marched over to the door and yanked it open. Kurt stood there, looking hurt and confused. He gazed at her with puzzled eyes. She grinned and held out the wine glass.  
  
"Want some wine?"  
  
Kurt backed away. "I am afraid of you now, Kitty. I love you very much, but I don't feel I have your trust. That wine could be poisoned."  
  
Kitty gritted her teeth in annoyance. "Please, Kurt. Like, do it for me."  
  
Kurt shook his head, looking frightened.  
  
Rogue stood up. "Don't be foolish, Kurt," she called, keeping her voice carefully free of impatience. "Can't you see the girl wants to share some alone time with you? Don't be a prude. Drink the damn wine."  
  
Kurt hesitantly came forwards.  
  
Kitty batted her eyelashes.  
  
Kurt snatched the drink away, sniffed it, and then gulped it down in two swallows. Kitty hastily sipped her own drink. Rogue saw a look of disgust cross her face; the next moment, Kitty had lunged at Kurt. Rogue watched as the two toppled to the floor, kissing passionately.  
  
And kissing.  
  
And kissing.  
  
Rogue cleared her throat. "Um. Kitty."  
  
No response.  
  
Rogue raised her voice. "_Kitty!_"  
  
Still no response. Kitty seemed to be enjoying herself immensely. So did Kurt, for that matter.  
  
Sighing, Rogue strode over and nudged the writhing mass with her boot. "Hey, you two. Knock it off. Ah don't need to be seeing this."  
  
Kitty sat up, and after a second, Kurt reluctantly followed suit. He looked baffled but very happy. "Oh, like, hey, Rogue," Kitty said, sheepish. "I guess that cure must have worked."  
  
"Ah think it probably did," Rogue agreed dryly. "You didn't give it much room not to."  
  
Kitty blushed and slid a curious glance over towards Kurt.  
  
"I - I don't think I feel sick anymore -" Kurt announced uncertainly. He looked at Kitty. "I had a rather odd dream. But - I think I liked it, too." He gazed at his feet, entwined with Kitty's. "Kitty?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"What just happened here?"  
  
Kitty blushed deeper and rose to her feet. "It's, like, kind of hard to explain."  
  
"It involves tomato soup," Rogue offered.  
  
"And apple seeds."  
  
"And you," Rogue said, before she could stop herself.  
  
Kitty gave her an agonized glance, embarrassed and nervous.  
  
Kurt slowly looked from one girl to the other. A ligh of understanding crept over his face. Rogue felt sure that, beneath all that blue fur, he was blushing. "Oh - I see."  
  
Kitty studied her feet intently.  
  
Rogue cleared her throat. "Well! Anyhow! Ah guess we should probably tell him the story from start to finish."  
  
Before Rogue could get another word in, however, there came the sound of pounding footsteps. Ororo appeared at the door, rather out of breath. She didn't waste any words. Just grabbed Kurt by the arm and started running back down the staircase. Kitty and Rogue exchanged startled glances.  
  
"What's going on?" Rogue called.  
  
Kurt looked as if he'd like to know the same thing.  
  
Ororo's voice was already faint and muffled by the time she replied. "We found Jean!" she called over her shoulder.  
  
Kitty sucked her breath in sharply.  
  
Rogue put out a hand to steady her. "Now, come on. It will just take a moment - at least he won't be in love with her, too - and then this whole thing will be all cleared up - " Rogue died off.  
  
Kitty had vanished.  
  



	9. Little Miss Perfect

[AUTHOR NOTE: I JUST SWITCHED FROM MAC TO PC, SO MY FORMAT STYLES HAVE CHANGED A LITTLE.]  
  
{{Own the characters? No. Own the story? Yes. Love reviews? Most definitely. Approve of plagarism? Most definitely not. Proceed accordingly. And please enjoy.}}  
  
CHAPTER NINE: LITTLE MISS PERFECT  
  
Rogue burst into the kitchen, out of breath and agitated. She pushed a stray strand of white hair out of her eyes and looked around wildly. "Is Kitty in here, by any chance?"  
  
Ororo put her finger to her lips.   
  
Rogue took in the scene in front of her. "Oh. Oh!" Quickly, she shut the door behind her and moved over next to Ororo, where she would be least obstrusive - and least likely to be asked for help. That was the last thing Rogue needed at the moment. After all that had happened, she was beginning to wonder whether or not she'd manage to make it to adulthood without serious therapy.  
  
Jean was sitting silently in a kitchen chair, face twisted into an outraged pout. She looked even more freakish and maudlin than the last time Rogue had seen her. Her red hair had come out of its bun, half-spilling over her shoulders and half-falling into her eyes. Parts of it were clumped together with gel and large flecks of glitter. Jean's shirt was practically falling off her body, revealing a pink leopard print bra. She had obviously had time for a lingerie change. Her eye makeup had run in thick, greasy, black-and-brown pools down her cheeks, and her mouth was clownishly smeared in brilliant red lipstick. One high heel was missing. Rogue gazed at her in horror. Jean looked like something out of a bad horror movie. Or maybe a bad porno. Hard to tell which.  
  
Opposite from Jean, looking absolutely horrified, was Kurt, sitting on the edge of his seat as if he expected to have to get out and run any moment. His eyes were round and wild. Rogue thought dryly that he looked like a rabbit caught in the glare of headlights. A furry, blue rabbit. His hair was decidedly rumpled, and his clothing seemed a little askew. Apparently, there had been a tussle when Kurt first came into the room. That would explain the scratch marks on Kurt and the pout on Jean, not to mention the stressed expressions of Logan, Scott, and Ororo. Rogue felt sorry she had missed it. She would have given ANYTHING to see Little Miss Good Grades turn into a cradle-robbing rapist.   
  
"What's going on, exactly?" she whispered to Ororo.  
  
Ororo spoke in a tense voice, but Rogue was sure she could detect a hint of laughter in the woman's voice. "When I brought Kurt in, Jean just lost all control. It took Logan and Scott together to rescue him. Poor thing."  
  
Rogue's lips twitched. "Poor thing," she echoed, and snuck a look over at Scott.  
  
He seemed mildly traumatized.  
  
Ororo caught her gaze. "Be easy on him. This has affected him terribly."  
  
"Hell, at least he wasn't even aware of his surroundings half the time," Rogue retored. "Think about ME."  
  
"Well, yes, but you didn't have to watch the person you loved madly in love with someone else," Ororo pointed out logically. "I mean - oh." She seemed to suddenly realize something. Her eyes darted from Rogue to Logan and back again.  
  
Rogue went strangely quiet, examining her combat boots.  
  
Ororo cleared her throat.  
  
"I hate to interrupt your chat," Kurt cut in, voice strained, "but whatever you need to do to get Jean back to normal, I really wish you would hurry up and do it. Bitte?"  
  
Logan was standing behind Jean's chair, ready to grab and restrain her if she made any sudden movies. "I think the kid's right," he said grimly. "This is feelin' less and less like a harmless joke and more and more like a goddamn nightmare. Anyone volunteer to give Jean the potion?"  
  
Jean, catching Rogue's eye, snarled and snapped her mouth like a dog. Rogue instinctively moved back, disgusted.   
  
Nobody answered Logan. There was an awkward silence.  
  
Scott sighed deeply. "Fine." He got up off the chair and came towards Jean. "If this is the only way to do it, I'll volunteer." He paused. "What do I have to do?"  
  
Ororo smiled in relief. "Thank you, Scott. You're the perfect one for the job." She gestured to the wine glasses. "Just fix two cups of the same stuff you drank."   
  
"I don't exactly remember what I drank," Scott said flatly. "As I recall, I spent the whole time either getting my nose broken or trying to hump Ororo."  
  
"Or threatening to kill everything in sight," Logan put in helpfully. "Don't whine, kid. We've all had it up to here with this stuff. You make the cure with white wine and a pinch of horseradish. Easy enough for you?" Logan sounded as tense as he looked. Jean kept on reaching back and trying to jab him with her shoe.   
  
Scott gave him a dark look and didn't answer. Just went to the table and began carefully pouring out two glasses of wine.  
  
Jean growled like an animal and struck her foot backwards again. This time, it hit Logan; Rogue watched, wincing, as the long, sharp heel dug into Logan's calf. His face went blank with pain for a second. Then he made a furious grab for Jean's shoulders. "Why, you little-" She dodged out of his grasp, squealing.  
  
"Logan!" Ororo said sharply. "This is hardly the time to regress to third grade behaviour!"  
  
Scott stopped pouring wine and gave Logan a dangerous look. "DON'T."  
  
Logan managed to get control of himself. "I'm sorry," he said, tightly. Then, unable to keep it inside, he added, "But she KICKED me."  
  
Jean blew a rasberry in his direction.  
  
Logan narrowed his eyes at her.  
  
"She doesn't know what she's doing," Ororo snapped. "Try to realize that, Logan. The potion changes behaviour completely."  
  
"I DO realize that," Logan said, voice rising. "Didn't I just spend the last hour trying to keep you from tearing off my pants?"  
  
"Well, you spent the hour before that trying to tear off Rogue's," Ororo retorted, losing her patience.  
  
Rogue went pale. "How'd you know?"  
  
Logan sighed and gave Ororo a dark look. "I THOUGHT it wouldn't hurt to tell her. She felt kinda bad about her little episode with me, and I was trying to comfort her. Obviously thoughtfulness is wasted on SOME PEOPLE."  
  
"Thoughtfulness?" Ororo snorted. "You were probably PROUD of it."  
  
Rogue went brilliant red.   
  
Even Kurt stopped warily watching Jean to listen, eyes wide and curious.  
  
Logan took a moment to collect himself. "All right," he said, voice carefully calm and even. "We're all adults here." He shot a glance towards Jean, who promptly stuck her tongue out at him and crossed her eyes. "Well. Most of us. The point is, I think this mess is goin' to our heads. If we don't watch it, we're gonna start FIGHTIN' each other, which is even worse than throwin' ourselves at each others' heads. Now I suggest we all focus on curin' Jean and Kurt. That will be the last set of cures we need to do. And after that, if we still have issues to deal with-" He glanced at Scott. Scott raised his eyebrows. "Well. We'll just hafta deal with them later, won't we?"  
  
Ororo took a deep breath and smoothed down her hair. "Logan is right," she said, smiling at him a little apologetically. "We're all uptight. We just need to focus."  
  
"Thanks for that little recap," Rogue murmured, too low for anyone to hear.  
  
"Scott? Do you have the cure ready?"   
  
Scott held the glasses out, a frown of distaste wrinkling his forehead. "I can't believe I DRANK that stuff."  
  
Rogue cleared her throat. "You know what?"  
  
Everyone looked over at her.  
  
"From now on, Ah think we can all just skip saying that part. It's getting kinda over-used."  
  
She was met with five pairs of blank eyes.  
  
"Never mind." Rogue dismissed the topic with a wave of her hand. "Just get it over with."  
  
Kurt glanced anxiously from face to face. "Um, guys?"  
  
"What is it, Kurt?" Ororo asked kindly.  
  
"How does this work, again?"  
  
Ororo exchanged glances with Scott, who was a little pale around the lips. "I don't think either you or Scott will enjoy it, Kurt-" she began.  
  
"You have to drink the wine and kiss her," Rogue interrupted impatiently. "That's it. It won't take more than five minutes."  
  
Overhearing this, Jean rolled her tongue around her lips seductively, winking one mascara-smeared eye in Kurt's direction.  
  
Rogue coughed. "Than again. Maybe it will."  
  
Kurt buried his face in his hands. "Mein Gott . . . "  
  
"Be brave," Logan said dryly. "It happens to the best of us."  
  
"And, if it helps any, just think how humiliated Jean will be when she hears," Rogue said, unable to keep the satisfaction out of her voice.  
  
Scott gave her a dark look. "Please, Marie. Leave Jean out of this."  
  
"How can Ah?" Rogue asked, arms akimbo. "She's sitting there with her bra hanging out. Kinda hard to leave her out of it."  
  
"Let's not fight," Ororo interjected quickly.  
  
"He was being unreasonable!"  
  
"Think how hard this is for me," Scott said, voice grim. "Do you think I LIKE watching Jean act like a - a-"  
  
Jean flipped him off.  
  
"Like a drunk whore with an attitude problem," Rogue supplied.  
  
Scott was on the verge of saying something rude, caught himself, and smiled instead. A bitter smile, maybe, and a little forced, but a smile nonetheless. "That sounds about right."  
  
Rogue grinned.  
  
Kurt stood up, keeping one wary eye glued to Jean. "Where is the cure, please? I don't think I can bear this torture any longer."  
  
Scott held one wine glass out to him.  
  
Kurt sniffed it and crinkled up his nose. "I can't believe I-" He caught Rogue's eye and died off.  
  
"Scott? Are you ready to give Jean the cure?" Ororo asked, face serious.  
  
Rogue was losing her temper slightly. "Why do you have to ask him if he's ready? All he has to do is force it down her throat at the count of three."  
  
Logan dodged one of Jean's flailing fists. "Personally, I think that's pretty damn hard."  
  
Rogue shrugged.  
  
"At the count of three," Ororo said. "One - two -"  
  
Kurt lifted the wine glass to his lips, looking ill.  
  
"Three."  
  
It all happened in a blur. Kurt, eyes squeezed shut,a look of pure horror on his face, gulped down the wine and then rushed blindly at Jean, revolted but determined. Jean sputtered and choked on the wine, resisting Scott with all her might; desperate, he managed to get a stranglehold around her neck and force the wine down her open mouth. At this point, Jean noticed Kurt, standing within easy reach. Tossing Scott aside, she leapt on Kurt, who had time for one last agonized wince before he was smothered by Jean's hungry kisses.  
  
Scott, as white as a sheet, turned away and covered his eyes with his hand.  
  
Rogue watched with a smug smile. She couldn't wait to describe the incident in great detail, once Jean was back to normal. In public, preferably. This was too good a chance to pass over.  
  
Ororo, seeming to read Rogue's mind, shook her head warningly.  
  
Logan cleared his throat after several moments. "Um. I think that's enough."  
  
Kurt, neck and cheeks covered in blurry red lipstick marks, made a weak attempt to pull away. Jean quickly overpowered him.  
  
Kurt made a strangling noise. "The perfume - it is smothering me-"  
  
Scott, unable to stand it any longer, stalked grimly over to the pile on the floor and grabbed Jean's collar in one hand. She squeaked in surprise. Scott yanked her roughly up off of Kurt, who gave a deep sigh of relief, looking as if he had just survived a horrible ordeal. Ororo rushed to help Kurt, while Scott kept a firm hold on Jean.  
  
Logan and Rogue exchanged anxious glances.  
  
Kurt managed to sit up. "Is it over, then?" he asked shakily.  
  
They all looked at Jean.  
  
There was a change in her expression. No longer simpering and leering, she looked bewildered, dazed, a little agitated. Slowly, Jean reached a hand up and felt her hair. A look of horror come into her eyes as she explored the greasy knots and tangles. Next, she touched her face - the moist streaks and gummy lips. Her fingertips came away smeared with garish colors. This led Jean to notice her talon-like false nails, which led her to discovering her leaopard-print bra, which led her to spot Kurt, cowering in the corner with lipstick marks - HER lipstick marks - covering his neck and face. Jean turned snow white beneath her clown circles of rouge.   
  
Scott touched her shoulder gently. "Jean? Are you OK?"  
  
She whirled around and grabbed him urgently. "Let me see a mirror."  
  
"Jean, it's OK. We can explain-"  
  
"Let me see a mirror!" She sounded desperate.  
  
Ororo cleared her throat. "Wait one moment-" She left the kitchen. There was a long moment when nobody spoke; they didn't seem to have anything to say to each other. Rogue coughed awkwardly. Scott shuffled his feet. Then Ororo came back into the kitchen, carrying her purse in one hand and holding out a compact mirror in the other. "Here you go, Jean," she said. Though her voice was serious, Rogue was CERTAIN she could hear laughter hiding at the corners. And when Ororo stepped over to attend to Kurt, Rogue could have sworn she saw a suspicious twinkle in the woman's eyes.  
  
Rogue bit back a burst of laughter herself, feeling suddenly hysterical. At one end, this was all very grim and annoying, but at the other end, it was just so FUNNY.  
  
Jean, hands trembling, held the little mirror up to her face. A clownish mask stared back at her. "Oh my god." With a zombie-like precision, she moved the mirror down her body, taking in the bra, the blouse, the scratch marks. "Oh my god," she repeated flatly.  
  
Unable to help herself any longer, Rogue began laughing, doubling over with tears gathering at the corners of her eyes.  
  
Logan clamped a hand to his mouth, obviously struggling not to do the same thing.  
  
Even Ororo's shoulders began shaking as she knelt over Kurt, who was now one of the only ones not laughing.  
  
Scott was another one. "It's OK, Jean. It's not your fault," he said soothingly. "Just relax, OK?" He seemed anxious, handling Jean as if she was a delicate object that might shatter at any moment. "Just relax. We can explain."  
  
Jean, not paying attention, raised the mirror up high enough to get a good look at her hair. Her eyes grew big as suacers. Instead of her usual smooth, shiny, shampoo-commercial mane, Jean found herself staring at clumpy streaks of glitter, tangled knots, and stray strands falling every which way. Apparently, this was the last straw. Before anyone could do anything to stop her, Jean opened her mouth and let out an earsplitting shriek.  
  
And then, a second later, Jean had fainted dead away.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Jean ran the comb through her thick, damp hair, wincing slightly as it caught on a snag. "It will take YEARS to fix this."  
  
"No, it's not bad at all. Almost back to normal," Ororo comforted.  
  
"You look beautiful," Scott assured Jean, stroking her cheek lovingly. He was so relieved to see his girlfriend back to normal - not in love with a blue-skinned fiteen-year-old, not smothered in makeup, not trying to bite him like a dog - that he had been even more doting than usual. He kissed her with a slight smacking sound. "Just gorgeous."  
  
Rogue patted back a yawn.  
  
"Well, thank you, but-" Jean made a face. "The whole thing is just so embarassing to think about. I don't know how I can ever show my face in public again."  
  
"Then don't," Rogue whispered, too low for anyone to hear - except Logan, standing right behind her chair. He caught her eye and winked, conspiratorial.  
  
Rogue blushed.  
  
They were all in the kitchen, and a general feeling of ease and relief seemed to have replaced the former tense atmosphere. Everyone was happy to see the last couple cured. Rogue, especially. She had been in the middle of everything from the the very start. She looked around the kitchen, feeling a rare sense of companionship with everyone in the room. Jean, after being revived with cold water and a few good slaps, had scrubbed every inch of her body in a warm bath. Rogue suspected she held her own private bra-burning behind the locked bathroom door. She certainly looked better - fresh-faced and dressed in a fuzzy white bathrobe, Jean was in the process of combing her hair back to its naturally straight state. Scott, the color back in his cheeks, was sitting on the arm of her chair, doting adoringly over Jean. His nose had suffered no obvious damage. Ororo, looking peaceful and calm, sat with her legs crossed and her hands in her lap. Kurt was crouching on the table, no worse for the wear. He was carefully avoiding Jean's eyes, but other than that, he seemed fine. Almost back to his spritely self. Logan was leaning in the corner, looking a little tired but extremely relieved at having the whole ordeal over with. Rogue looked over his shoulder and caught his eye again. He smiled. Now that everything was back to normal, Logan seemed to be thinking along the same lines as Rogue - that, all in all, it had been one of the funniest things to happen in months. Rogue was almost glad Kitty had started the whole mess, it was so-  
  
Rogue sat straight up in her chair, feeling as if someone had just kicked her in the gut. "Kitty."  
  
Everyone stared at her, confused.   
  
"Where's Kitty?" Rogue ran a hand through her hair, agitated all over again. "Ah mean, this is serious, you guys. Ah haven't seen her for over an hour. At LEAST. Ah was looking for her when Ah came into the kitchen - and then Ah got distracted - but. She hasn't shown up at all, has she? Where could she be?"   
  
"Rogue, calm down!" Ororo said, confused at the girl's distress. "It's not a tragedy. She must be in her room, or-"  
  
"No, no. Trust me. This IS a tragedy." Rogue got out of her chair and began pacing nervously. "There's no telling what Kitty is up to, but whatever it is, it isn't good. We're in for more trouble."  
  
"I hate to be the voice of doom, but I kinda have to agree with the kid on this one," Logan put in. He looked worried himself. "Remember, she's the one who started this whole thing."  
  
"And me," Jean added, beautifully humble as usual. She gave a sweet, apologetic smile. "I mean, I put the stuff in the soup, after all."  
  
"That's true," Rogue said quickly. "You did."  
  
Scott frowned at Rogue over Jean's shoulder. "Don't be ridiculous, Jean. It's not your fault. You couldn't have known that stuff was a potion instead of milk."  
  
Rogue gave a cough that sounded suspiciously like "sour milk."  
  
"Well, it smelled OK!" Jean said defensively. "Why did you two put in the fridge to begin with?"  
  
"Us TWO? It was Kitty's idea! Ah-" Rogue broke off, reminded of the dilemna once again. "Speaking of Kitty - oh, god. Where is she?" Rogue went pale, thinking of all the lurid possibilities.   
  
"Well, be logical. Where do you THINK she might have gone?" Ororo asked.  
  
Rogue gave her a look. "No offense, but this is KITTY we're talking about here. Hard to be logical with her."  
  
Logan nodded his agreement.  
  
Kurt spoke up slowly from the tabletop. "I saw her - right before Ororo took me down here -"  
  
"That's the last time I saw her, too."  
  
"She seemed upset," Kurt said, and Rogue could tell that he felt a little embarrassed. He shifted around uncomfortably. "What I mean to say is, she seemed-"  
  
"Ah know what you're trying to say," Rogue cut in, smiling in spite of herself. "Actually - Ah think that might be part of why she left-" Rogue looked significantly from Kurt to Jeand back again. Everyone else looked confused; Kurt looked as if he wanted to sink into a hole.  
  
Just then, there came the sound of a door slamming.  
  
Everyone turned, startled.  
  
"Who would that be?" Ororo asked, half-rising from her chair.  
  
Rogue and Logan exchanged tense, hopeful glances. Could it be-? Was it-?  
  
The sound of footsteps, light and quick, came towards the kitchen. Kurt crouched down, as if ready to dash away any moment. A second later, the door swung open. There was a breathless pause - and thenKitty came in, looking worried and distracted. She seemed to have a great deal on her mind. When she caught sight of the six pairs of eyes, some relieved, some confused, some a little hostile, Kitty stopped dead in her tracks. The color rose in her cheeks. "Oh. My god," she said, stammering a little. "I, like, totally forgot you guys were in here."  
  
Rogue stepped forwards. "Kitty," she said, voice stern. "What's going on now?"  
  
"N-nothing," Kitty said, a little too quickly. "I, uh, like, I-" She swallowed. "Rogue, can I talk to you outside for a moment?"  
  
Everyone groaned simultaneously.  
  
Kitty bit her lip guiltily.  
  
"What's wrong now?" Rogue asked, feeling all her weariness rushing back in a flood. "What did you do this time, Kitty?"  
  
"There's a problem." Kitty hesitated, then added in a tragic stage whisper, "It's with Lance." 


	10. Goth Girl Strikes Back

{{Own the characters? No. Own the story? Yes. Love reviews? Most definitely. Approve of plagarism? Most definitely not. Proceed accordingly. And please enjoy.}}  
  
CHAPTER TEN: GOTH GIRL STRIKES BACK  
  
Kitty pulled Rogue out into the hallway, away from the prying eyes of the others. "Listen, Rogue, this is, like, kinda desperate," she hissed urgently. "I mean, like, I got myself into some totally bad trouble here."  
  
"Tell me something Ah didn't know," Rogue said dryly.  
  
"No, come on." Kitty seemed on the verge on a nervous breakdown. "Don't, like, be mean to me, Rogue. You're my last hope! Totally!"  
  
Rogue sighed. "Why me?"  
  
"I don't know. Like, I always felt like I could trust you."  
  
"Lucky me."  
  
Kitty's eyes grew teary. "Rogue - please - I'm, like, begging."  
  
"All right, fine! Ah'll help. But-" she said warningly, cutting off Kitty's ecstatic squeal, "when this whole mess is over, Ah am asking the Professor for a change of rooms."  
  
Kitty looked a little hurt, but she didn't have time to worry about it at the moment. "Like, listen carefully. When Ororo came up and dragged Kurt down to-" She paused, making a face- "You know - CURE him or whatever - I just felt, like, so totally bummed out that I went over to the school." Kitty paused, waiting for Rogue's incredulous reaction.  
  
She wasn't disappointed. "You went WHERE?!"  
  
"OK, OK, I know, it was, like, totally a weird thing to do," Kitty said, blushing. "I was just upset, OK? And I couldn't think of anywhere else to go. So I went over to the school. Like, don't look at me that way! It made sense at the time."  
  
Rogue rolled her eyes. "Knowing you, Ah'm sure it did."  
  
Kitty pushed on bravely. "And - the thing is - well. You know how Lance, like, drank some of the soup?"  
  
Rogue nodded, almost not wanting to hear the rest of the story.  
  
"I thought he must have, you know, seen a girl in one of his classes, and already fallen in love." Kitty swallowed. "But it turns out he went into the restroom to smoke. And when he was in there, like, I don't know, he decided he was gonna stay in there, hiding, and skip that test in English."   
  
Rogue winced. "Oh, god. We missed that test, too."  
  
"Whatever. The point is, like, I was walking around the hallways, and all of a sudden Lance came out of the restroom, and- and- I guess I was, like, the first girl he'd seen since he drank the soup. So." Kitty swallowed hard. "So. Yeah. That's, like, what happened."  
  
"And Ah suppose now he's helplessly in love with you," Rogue said wearily. "And he's been trying to get you into bed for the past half hour, and you want me to go make that damn cure so you can kiss him, etcetera etcetera, so on and so forth." She rubbed her temples, looking tired. "God. Kitty, sometimes Ah just want to - to-"  
  
"Hurt me?" Kitty suggested in a small voice.  
  
"No, not exactly." More exhausted than irritated, Rogue managed a very small, very grudging smile. "Ah'll go get the wine. You go get Lance." She started for the kitchen. "And Ah thought Ah'd never have to deal with the damn wine and horseradish again . . . "  
  
Behind her, she heard Kitty quickly scamper out of the room.  
  
Back in the kitchen, she was met with six curious pairs of eyes. She cleared her throat. "Um - long story. Ah, uh - this will just take a moment. You guys can stay here and relax." She grinned nervously.  
  
"I think we might need to know what's goin' on, kid," Logan said.  
  
In response, Rogue made a beeline for the wine and horseradish.  
  
"Not again!" Ororo exclaimed. "You must be teasing."  
  
"Ah wish Ah was," Rogue said grimly, gripping the wine bottle around its slender neck. "But Ah'm not."  
  
"She went and brought the Brotherhood into it, didn't she?" Kurt said darkly. He seemed suddenly jealous. "I saw that Lance character drinking the soup. She made it for HIM, didn't she?"  
  
Rogue headed for the door. "Don't be silly, Kurt," she said, pausing at the doorway. A wicked idea entered her head. "She made it for you." And, having dropped that bombshell, Rogue calmly left the kitchen and found her way back to the hall.   
  
Kitty was standing in the doorway, biting her lower lip and looking tense. "He's on the lawn. Like, I can't get him to come inside."  
  
"What? Why the hell not?"  
  
"I don't know," Kitty said miserably. "Could we just, you know, hurry or whatever?"  
  
"Sure. Fine." The girls stepped out into the sunshine, Rogue blinking slightly at the sudden burst of light. "You know," Rogue said casually, as they rounded the corner of the building, "Ah just told Kurt why you made the potion."  
  
Kitty turned as white as a ghost and as red as a tomato, in quick succession. "You totally did not!"  
  
Rogue nodded. "Yes, ah did."  
  
Kitty stopped dead in her tracks. "I - I totally hate you. You just ruined my life."  
  
"What? It was the truth. Ah mean, you made it kinda obvious, going and forcing him to fall in love with you, and then going and getting Lance in revenge of Jean-"  
  
"It was not in revenge," Kitty hissed. "Like, I told you. It was an accident."  
  
"Well." Rogue dismissed this with an elequent shrug. "Ah'm not gonna argue with you. Ah told Kurt the truth. Ah'd think you'd be happy with me." She cut a glance towards her friend, who was trailing along after her, pouting and hunched. "After all, if Kurt never even realized you like him, this whole mess will have been a waste. Right?"  
  
Kitty shrugged grudgingly. "Maybe you, like, have a point."  
  
"Ah do," Rogue said confidently. "Don't worry. It would only be embarrassing if he didn't like you back."  
  
"Well, he doesn't," Kitty sniffed. "He hates me. Totally."  
  
"No, he does not," Rogue said. "Don't be pathetic, Kitty. He's head over heels for you, and you know it."  
  
Kitty looked up, eyes bright through her tears. "Like - do you - do you mean it?"  
  
"Sure. It's obvious."  
  
Kitty considered this, a shy smile playing around the corners of her lips.  
  
"If you'd just been smart enough to realize it, instead of moping around whining, we wouldn't be in this mess now," Rogue continued. "We'd be-" She stopped dead in her tracks, her words dying in her throat. She blinked several times. "Oh. My. God."  
  
Lance, an unregnizable sniveling heap, sat slouched over and quivering in the middle of the tennis court. His shoulders were heaving with sobs, and snot and tears ran in moist trickles down his face. His eyelids were pink and puffy, and he seemed about two teardrops away from sucking his thumb. Rogue had never seen a more pitiful sight in her life. Not even Lance in real life could match this soggy, pathetic heap.  
  
Kitty fidgeted nervously. "I, like, told you. It's having a kinda weird affect on him. Like, when I told him I didn't want to sleep with him, I thought he'd get angry or whatever. But instead he totally broke down into, like, tears. He's just been following me around crying ever since. It's, like, kinda upsetting."   
  
Lance looked up through his swollen eyelids and noticed the two of them, staring at him in disgust. He began crying again, almost choking on his tears. "You brought someone to laugh at me, didn't you? It's-it's-it's OK. I don't mind. I'm worthless, I'm nothing. Laugh at me all you want." He rubbed his eyes with his fists. "Go ahead, kill me! Let the pathetic baby die!"  
  
Kitty and Rogue exchanged uncertain glances.  
  
"Ah see a pattern," Rogue said after a moment. "Like, think about it. Scott turned into a tragic hero. Ororo turned into a - a flaming temptress." She blushed when Kitty giggled, but pushed on anyway. "Jean turned into a crazy tart, Kurt turned into a passionate lover, you turned into a raving ditz, and Logan turned into a - horny - maniac. Or something. And now Lance has turned into a sniveling infant." She looked at Kitty questioningly. "What do you think it means?"  
  
Kitty shrugged. "Maybe - like - everyone's true side is revealed when they - like - drink the potion?" she ventured.  
  
"Something along those general lines."   
  
Kitty studied Lance. "I wonder what, like, YOU would be," she said, voice carefully even.  
  
Rogue shot her a dark look.  
  
At that moment, Lance let out a forlorn wail. "I hate myself! I hate myself! Nobody lives him. Nobody loves him at all." Before the two girls could do anything, he began crawling rapidly towards Kitty. "He'll get her, though. He'll make her love him!" He snatched at Kitty's ankles.  
  
Rogue leapt aside, nearly dropping the wine bottle. "What the hell?! Why is he using third person now?!"  
  
Kitty, looked scared, shook Lance off. "Like, I don't know. This is creepy."   
  
Lance landed one the ground and curled up into a fetal ball. "I - I - I can't stand it," he whimpered. "Rejection! Rejection!"  
  
"Um." Rogue uncorked the bottle and set the glasses on the lawn. "Ah'll just fix this up really quick, OK?"  
  
"OK." Kitty kept a wary eye on Lance. "Thanks, Rogue. Like, you're a total life-saver."  
  
Rogue smiled dryly to herself.  
  
Lance trembled compulsively. "Will she kill him? Will she kill him and end his misery?"  
  
"This isn't like love," Kitty said scornfully. "This is like a totally bad horror movie or something. Or, like, a Lifetime special my mom would watch."  
  
"Ah'd hate to meet your mom," Rogue muttered, shaking the last few crumbs of horseradish into the glasses. She straightened up and handed one of the glasses to Kitty, looking worried. "Be careful. We don't have much horseradish left."  
  
"I will." Kitty looked at the quivering heap. "Like, what about him?"  
  
"Ah'll handle him," Rogue said grimly, narrowing her eyes. "You just worry about kissing him."  
  
Kitty made a face. "Third time's a charm, I guess."  
  
Rogue went and knelt next to Lance. He looked up at her, blinking and snotty-faced. "If there's a fourth time," she said darkly to Kitty, "you're on your own, kid."  
  
"You, like, sound like Logan," Kitty teased.  
  
Rogue cleared her throat menacingly.  
  
"Oh. Like, right." Kitty held the wine glass up to her lips and watched Rogue anxiously. "Ready when you are. Totally."  
  
Rogue nudged Lance over with her elbow. He flopped onto his back and stared at her, sniffling mournfully. Rogue, after a few seconds of thinking carefully about the matter, realized she'd have to prop his head up on her lap. Wrinkling her nose in disgust, she gingerly positioned herself behind the prostrate Lance and lugged his head into her lap. He lolled around, confused and helpless. Rogue tipped the wineglass to his lips.  
  
"I'm - I'm - I'm not drinking that," Lance moaned.  
  
"Oh, yes, you are, you snotty anklebiter," Rogue said, ominous. "You're drinking or you're getting stuffed in the garbage disposal. Take your pick."  
  
Lance whimpered. "No! He's not!"  
  
Rogue thought quickly. "It's poision," she said temptingly. "To kill him off."  
  
Lance's eyes brightened. "Is it from her? The one who scorns him?"  
  
Rogue cleared her throat. "Uh - yes, actually. Drink up!" -How do Ah get myself into these things?- she wondered, disgusted, as Lance began greedily slurping down the wine. Because of his awkward position on her lap, he managed to get a great deal of it on her pants and skirt. Rogue gave Kitty a mean look. "You better be ready."  
  
"I, like, am." Kitty, nervous, shut her eyes and pursed her lips.  
  
"No, you gotta come down here. Ah'm sure as hell not lugging him up to your level."  
  
Kitty sighed, but obeyed. Kneeling down, she titled her head towards Lance's moist, swollen face. With a sick sensation in her stomach, she felt their lips touch.   
  
Rogue couldn't keep back an amused smile.  
  
"This is, like, totally gross," Kitty said, muffled. "I think I'm gonna totally puke."  
  
"Save it till you're done kissing," Rogue counseled.  
  
Luckily for Kitty, Lance was like a cold fish, and their kiss hardly lasted more than a minute. After one last smack for good measure, Kitty got up and ran to stand at the edge of the tennis court, furiously wiping her mouth with her sleeve and making gagging noises. Rogue looked down at Lance's head in her lap. Too late, she realized he'd opened his eyes, and was staring up at her without a hint of sniveling or pathos. If anything, he looked confused, irritated, and flattered, all at once.  
  
"Um-" Rogue said, searching wildly for the right explanation.  
  
Lance grinned. "So. The dark and bitter Prozac-girl finally warms up." He winked. "Knew I'd convert you someday. You know, babe, without all that purple lipstick, I think you're kinda hot." He lowered his voice. "I mean, me and the boys agreed. You have the greatest ass in Bayville High." And he reached behind her and pinched it.  
  
Rogue went flushed crimson with fury. "You - you-" she stammered, infuriated beyond words. "You-"  
  
Lance smirked confidently and sat up, facing her. "Hey, don't try to ruin the moment with words, babe. I know you want me. In fact, I guess I kinda want you, too. I hear Goth chicks are tigers in the sack."   
  
Rogue said the first thing that popped into her head. "You have snot on your face."  
  
Lance began to laugh, realized something was wrong, and lifted his hand to his face instead. His confident grin changed into a horrified gape. "What - what? What the hell is going on?!" He rose to his feet, chagrined and agitated. "How did I get here, anyhow? This isn't funny. You X-Geeks are messng with my head."  
  
Rogue couldn't suppress a laugh.  
  
Lance turned on her furiously. "What's so funny, Morticia? You think it's funny how I was pulling your strings back there? Making you think I'd ever want a depressed weirdo like you?"  
  
Rogue's eyes turned dark. "Get the hell out of here."  
  
"I'd love to, Cruella. Show me the gates."  
  
Rogue pointed stonily.  
  
"Don't think I won't be back!" Lance called, as he stormed across the grounds. "I don't let goody-goody freaks like you get away with this! You'll see!"  
  
Rogue screamed something extremely rude at his retreating back.  
  
Lance flipped her off.  
  
Rogue, breathing heavily, her cheeks stained red, hardly heard Kitty come up behind her, eyes big. When Kitty timidly tapped her on the shoulder, Rogue yelped and whirled around. Kitty stepped backwards, looking uncertain. "Um. Hey."  
  
"Hey," Rogue said bitterly, not meeting her eyes.  
  
"Like - I guess - I just wanted to apologize. And say 'thank you.'" Kitty bit her lower lip. "Like, I'm so sorry. You're such a good friend, Rogue." Suddenly, overcome with emotion, Kitty grabbed Rogue in a fierce hug. Rogue was too surprised to object. "Like, if I can pay you back in any way at all, I totally will. You're the best."  
  
"Um." Feeling awkward, and trying to disguise how touched she really was, Rogue gently detached Kitty's arms from around her shoulders. "Be careful. It's kinda risky, hugging me."  
  
"Oh. Like, right." Kitty stepped back and grinned, a little sheepish. "Thanks again."  
  
"Don't keep on thanking me," Rogue said gruffly. "You'd do the same for me."  
  
"Totally."  
  
The two girls smiled at each other, feeling oddly at peace.  
  
After a few seconds, Rogue cleared her throat. "The others are worried. We beter - you know - go in and tell them it's all right."  
  
"OK. Like, yeah."   
  
As the girls started towards the mansion entrance, Rogue became aware that Kitty was hanging back a little strangely. "Kitty?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"What are you doing back there?"  
  
"Well -" Kitty smiled wickedly. "I mean, I'm like, trying to figure out if he was right."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"When he said you have the greatest ass in Bayville High."  
  
"Kitty!" Rogue went brilliant scarlet again. "Don't start on me!"  
  
Kitty giggled. "I mean, like, I have to know, so I can figure out whether or not to be jealous."  
  
Rogue stalked ahead, embarrassed.  
  
"I don't think he was right!" Kitty called, laughing. "In fact, he was, like, dead wrong. You're totally hideous from behind."  
  
"You're digging your own grave," Rogue said, but she said it with a relenting smile.  
  
At the door, however, Kitty quickly grew serious. A look of panic came into her eyes. She balked on the front steps, irritating Rogue. "Like, I can't," she moaned. "I totally can't. I can never face him again. Like, my life is over if he sees me. Totally over."  
  
"Spare me the junior high drama," Rogue said impatiently. "Ah told you, he knew already. And you know Kurt. He's not gonna blurt it out."  
  
"But you, like, said it front of EVERYONE!" Kitty said tragically. "Ororo and Jean and Scott and Logan - it's, like, too humiliating. I will die. My life is totally over."  
  
"Kitty-"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Remember how you said you'd do anything to repay me?"  
  
"Yeah . . . "  
  
"Well, repay me by getting your skinny ass throught his door." Rogue gestured menacingly. "Ah mean NOW. If Ah leave you out here, you're just gonna get in more trouble."  
  
"I can't repay you by totally embarassing myself!" Kitty wailed, not moving an inch. "I, like, have another way to repay you. I'm gonna-" Slowly, the tragic look drained from Kitty's face, replaced by a thoughtful smile. Seeming to have forgotten all about her drama with Kurt, Kitty studied Rogue with a strange smile, tilting her head from side to side.   
  
Rogue felt suddenly nervous. "Um. What's wrong now?"  
  
"Oh, nothing." Kitty grinned. "Just, like, planning my thank-you gift to you."  
  
"Please, Kitty. Don't trouble yourself." Rogue didn't like the look in her friend's eyes. "Ah mean it. DON'T."  
  
"But I totally have to do SOMETHING!" Kitty objected innocently. "And I have, like, the perfect plan." She skipped up the stairs. "Come on. We're going inside."  
  
Rogue, considering her options, followed reluctantly. "Kitty. You're going the wrong way. The kitchen's this way."  
  
Kitty paused, halfway up the stairs. "I'm not going to the kitchen." She smiled mischievously. "I'm, like, going to our room. And you're coming, too."  
  
"No, Ah'm not," Rogue said immediately.  
  
"Yes, you totally are."  
  
"No, Ah'm not."  
  
"Yes, you are."  
  
"No, Ah am NOT. Now stop annoying me and come down here."  
  
Instead of obeying, Kitty leaned her head to one side, pretending to think. "Hmm - now what could I do to make you come with me? Oh. Like, I know! What if I took that, like, DIARY you keep under your bed and passed it to a certain someone. Like, how'd you like that?"  
  
Rogue went a dangerous red. "You wouldn't."  
  
"Oh, but I totally would," Kitty said gleefully.  
  
"You wouldn't!"  
  
In response, Kitty turned and ran the rest of the way up the stairs.  
  
"Kitty!!" Rogue shrieked. Enraged, she dashed up the staircase; in her blind panic, she almost slammed into Kitty, who had stopped dead at the top. Rogue glared at her, eyes livid. "Katherine Pryde, you are the only girl Ah know pathetic enough to blackmail someone into letting you give them a gift."  
  
"And Marie, you are the only girl I know pathetic enough to, like, refuse a thank-you present." Kitty paused. "Like, I take this to mean you'll cooperate?"  
  
Rogue glared at her suspiciously. "What exactly are you doing to me?"  
  
Kitty smiled triumphantly. "We're going to get you a man." 


End file.
